“At once the angel was joined by a huge angelic choir singing God’s praises:
Glory to God in the heavenly heights, Peace to all men and women on earth who please him.”
(Luke 2:13-14, The Message)
It was fall 2005. Our son Todd was preparing to move from Germany to Israel. God had led him to visit Israel several times and burdened his heart to share his Messiah with the Israeli people. He would be working with a ministry led by a Messianic Jew named Jacob.
And so it came to pass one night during the Christmas season that I was reading a book written by Jacob. In his book, Jacob described his journey to meet God and how he came to know God’s Son, Jesus, as Messiah. I finished the chapter and turned out my light. Near the end of the book, Jacob had been describing the physical dangers and attacks he had experienced in boldly sharing God’s Good News with his fellow Israelis. It suddenly dawned on me that Todd could suffer these same dangers in Israel, and even face death. My heart ached. I began to weep.
My tears surprised my drowsy husband because he didn’t know what I had just read. Tentatively Gerald asked, “Was it something I said or did?”
It took a minute before I could voice what was breaking my heart. Wisely, he just held me and let me cry and settle down. We both knew words were inadequate; false reassurances would be empty. Gerald prayed for God’s comfort, strength and protection for Todd.
That Christmas, through these circumstances, I came to know our Prince of Peace more intimately. Total surrender of myself and my son led me to trust God for Todd’s safety and well-being. God spoke to my heart that it is an illusion when we think we control our own safety or that of a loved one. God showed me that I have to consciously lay down—acknowledge as not mine—the burden I tried to carry. When I do, God graciously gives His peace and consolation.
Kay Bontrager lives in the Nashville, TN area, where she serves alongside husband Gerald as he pastors a local church. She enjoys helping people remove barriers and move toward peace with others, within themselves, and with God. She and her husband have two grown married children and one spoiled dog.
