Father of the Bride

Someone once said, “Fathers are what give daughters away to men who aren’t nearly good enough for them, so they can have children smarter than anybody’s.”

Every day hundreds of men suddenly find themselves designated the “father of the bride.” And each one travels down a nostalgic memory-laden path and asks himself. Why should a father have to give away his little girl? It seems like only yesterday that she was a red-faced, wrinkled infant behind a nursery window. A toddler who pulled on his pant legs. A gangly gap-toothed sprite who rode on his shoulders. And a blossoming young woman who tugged on his heartstrings.

The father of the bride fluctuates rapidly between nostalgia and nausea. One man said that giving his daughter in marriage could only be compared to taking a $100,000 Stradivarius violin and giving it to a gorilla.

In all the excitement of a wedding, the father may become the forgotten man. His opinion is asked about nothing; but he’s expected to pay for everything. He has to put up with pre-nuptial nerves, tight tuxedoes, and endless discussions about colors and flowers—considered earth-shaking issues in his household.

Although many years ago, I can still see my father pacing up and down the church hall before my wedding. Maybe he was thinking about handing me over to a man he had known less than two days. In that solemn moment before the Wedding March began, he turned to me and said, “The get-away car is parked by the door. It’s not too late if you want to forget the whole thing.”

I didn’t. But in that one expression, my father told me what alcoholism and cynicism had kept him from putting into appropriate words or actions–he loved me. Enough to continue supporting me indefinitely. Enough to want to be certain that I knew my heart. Although he wasn’t sure about “gaining a son,” he didn’t want to lose a daughter.

Even the best father-child relationship (which ours certainly wasn’t) can only imperfectly picture the heavenly Father’s love for his children. John wrote: “Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called the children of God” (1 John 3:1a NKJV). From spiritual infancy to maturity, He cradles, carries, and comforts us.  But in the frenzied pace of life, God the Father may become the forgotten man. Whose opinion is sought about nothing—until the bills come due. Then we cry out for His assistance. And we find that He has been with us all the time, patiently waiting for our priorities to change from personal whims to vital issues.

Although not visible, God’s arm of support is substantial. He asks us to search our hearts and to lean on Him as we walk into an uncertain future. His love goes with us. And it is enough. Enough to last beyond all earth-bound loves. This “Wedding March” has rung out millions of times through the ages. The heavenly Father has gained many sons. And He has never lost a daughter.

**This article is part of Vicki Huffman’s nonfiction Christian book, The Best of Times with a Foreword by Dr. Warren Wiersbe, originally published by Broadman Press. Although the book is out of print, Vicki has revised and updated it to make it available as an affordable e-book . The Best of Times is a collection of inspirational (some humorous, some touching) vignettes about the “times” mentioned in Ecclesiastes 3:1-8. Look for it in Amazon’s Kindle section starting July 5, 2011.

HINT: You don’t have to own an electronic book reader to order books on Kindle. Amazon.com offers FREE downloadable aps for computers, Ipads, and other devices. These aps allow you to purchase books as well as access the over 1 million free books available, including many classics. 

Legacies We Cherish

As I was cleaning the kitchen after my parents left to go back home from visiting with my family, I saw my dad’s deck of cards (he loves to play solitaire) on a side table I have in the kitchen. He must have forgotten to pack them. As I was about to put them away, I stopped myself. I felt such an overwhelming nostalgic feeling at that moment. I told myself, I miss him. I miss my dear dad.  I picked up the phone and called him to tell him once again what a wonderful time we had together and how much I love and miss him and mom.

My tall and handsome dad, who once was so intimidating and strong, now looks tired and frail. He spends most of his time contemplating life. I love that man! I love the history embedded in his wrinkles, the wisdom that oozes from his lips and his big arms that always made me feel so safe and warm. I still love to climb up in bed with my mom and dad and cuddle as we watch some Spanish Novela or the Spanish News. My dad never sends us away; there is nothing he loves more than to spend time with his girls and the grandkids. I’ve learned so much from him. He could lose his voice today and never be able to say I love you again, but I would still know he loves me.

This afternoon I went to a funeral with my husband. The man who passed away was the father of one of our church members. I didn’t know him, for he attended another church, but during the beautiful service I couldn’t help but thinking that I wish I had met him– he sounds a whole lot like my dad. He had four daughters, just like in my family, he loved God dearly and was crazy about his family and compassionate toward his fellowmen. They wrote in his casket: “Let my works speak for me.” I love it. We can live our lives talking about all the good we want to do, but it is our actions that will show the world who we really are. Those works will leave a mark from generation to generation and oh, the impact of a life well lived!

Father’s Day Cookin’

Do you have your Father’s Day menu planned? Neither do I! Here are some great looking recipes I just may try this year. If you have a favorite recipe or menu, share it with all of us by commenting!

A Chicken Wing!…Sweet thai chili sauce, hoisin sauce, and brown sugar wings–sure to be a Dad–and family fave.

Marinated London Broil…One of Loi’s recipes from our website recipe box. A can of Coke and a bottle of teriyaki sauce for the marinate  sounds easy and marvelous!

Argentinean Steaks and Yellow Rice with Plantains…Now this looks yummy for Father’s Day. Plus, this is a great site for all kinds of recipes.

Father’s Day 2010 Links