From Here to Maternity

Do you ever hear an expression that reminds you of something your mother used to say? Do you find yourself using the same expressions—even the ones you swore you wouldn’t—with your own children? A mother’s words, whether because of wisdom or mere repetition, can become set in concrete in our minds.

Mothers have an adage for every occasion. Meeting strangers: “Don’t talk to them or take anything from them.” Meals: “Eat everything on your plate. There are starving children in China.” Accidents: “Don’t do that. You’ll break your neck.” (My neck was apparently in danger many times.) And just in case: “Always wear clean underwear with no holes in case you’re in an accident.”

Then there was her seasonal advice. Would I really catch pneumonia if I didn’t take a sweater in the fall or went out in the winter with wet hair? I don’t know what would have happened if I wore white shoes before Easter or after Labor Day. I grew up being warned against such folly and so far have avoided it.

See if any of these motherly expressions bring back memories:

“Don’t ask why. Because I said so.”

“A little hard work never hurt anyone.”

“Pretty is as pretty does.”

“If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.”

“I’m doing this for your own good. Someday you’ll thank me.”

Motherly advice is nothing new. It has been going on since Eve, who probably warned her children of the danger of talking to snakes. In the Book of Proverbs, Solomon tells us that his mother gave him advice: “The sayings of King Lemuel—an oracle his mother taught him” (Prov. 31:1 NIV).  Since there was no “King Lemuel” in Israel’s history, most Bible scholars assume this was what Solomon’s mother called him. (Mother’s nicknames—a whole ’nother category.)

What did Solomon’s mother tell him? She warned him against wild women and alcohol and urged him to be a kind-hearted ruler (31:2-9). History records that advice—like that of many other mothers—was mostly ignored.

Whether personally heeded or not, the proverbs Solomon collected that were included in the Bible abound with motherly (and Heavenly Father) concern and wisdom. Here are a few that Solomon may have heard while growing up around the palace:

“My son, if sinners entice you, do not give in to them” (Prov. 1:10).

“Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise!” (6:6).

“Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall” (16:28).

“Cast but a glance at riches, and they are gone, for they will surely sprout wings and fly off to the sky like an eagle” (23:5).

“Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue” (17:28).

“The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother” (29:15).

In other words, Solomon’s mother (like you and I) probably said to her offspring:  “Someday you’ll thank me for this.”

©copyright 2012 by Vicki Huffman

Vicki Huffman is the author of two Christian non-fiction books and one Christian-based novel which are available in various forms through the author (email Mentoring Moments) or amazon.com. To read the first chapter of her novel A Secret Hope at no cost, follow here.

 

 

Sweet Ideas for Mother’s Day

Need some inspiration for Mother’s Day gifts?

Mom’s Love Rub

Jan Nellis’ creamy soaps, scrubs, and candles are simply glorious. I have used the peppermint soap and cannot rave enough about it. Made with goat’s milk and a light mint fragrance, this soap is creamy and moisturizing. I love, love the scent. It is not strong, and smells good enough to eat! There is also a line of massage candles, a Dead Sea Salt Foot Scrub, and a variety of scrumptious soaps. Jan’s signature Mom’s Love Rub lotion is made with no preservatives and includes aloe vera, shea butter, and honey (from bees she raises!). It is good for dry skin, bug bites, stings, and even sunburns.

I appreciate Jan’s dedication to all-natural products and high standards. Along with her husband and five children, Jan leads a self-sustaining lifestyle. She also has a great book on dehydrating called Delicious, Delectable, and Dehydrated.

Check out her beautiful site at Mom’s Love Rub.

Pouchee
Have you heard of this? Let me share!

Pouchee is a purse insert that holds all the most important things such as makeup, cards, checkbooks, money, and a pen. It even has three slots that can be used to house a cell phone, small camera, and iPod. The best part…when it is time to change out purses, it is as quick as putting Pouchee in the new one!

Now where was this nifty invention when I was carrying a diaper bag? Perfect for all you Mommies who like to consolidate and carry your important things in a diaper bag when out with the kiddos. When it’s time to carry your purse, it is as simple as putting Pouchee in and you’re set! Here’s a video showing how Pouchee organizes everything:

Last summer the Pouchee company sent me a cotton Pouchee in khaki  to try out. I have used it ever since! It is available in a variety of colors and in leather. In fact, for Christmas I gave my mother and mother-in-love both Pouchee’s in leather. To make it a bit more fun, I filled their Pouchee with some extras such as a pack of Kleenex, a card, mints, new pen, hand sanitizer and a gift card.

 

Perfect Books for Summer Reading and Gift Giving

Many of the writers here at MMCW are authors. They volunteer their time to MMCW, sharing their wisdom and insight weekly. If you enjoy their writing, check out their books:

Women of the Secret Place: A collection of inspirational stories and personal moments with GodBy Ruth Ellinger / Ambassador-emerald, Intl.

Married Mom, Solo Parent: Finding God’s Strength to Face the ChallengeBy Carla Anne Coroy / Kregel Publications Married Mom, Solo Parent is a common-sense, down-to-earth look at the struggles wives and mothers face when their husband is not actively involved in family life. Writing from her own experience as a married single mom, Carla Anne Coroy will help wives and mothers sort through their questions, such as: Can I do this alone? How do I raise kids to honor their father? How do I give my children a healthy perspective of marriage if they never see one in action? With practical suggestions, anecdotes, and biblical teaching, this book will encourage moms to see their position as a high calling, to find healing for their worries and frustrations, and to tap into God’s strength for help in facing the daily challenge of being a married mom, solo parent.

Preparing My Heart for Grandparenting: Passing on a Legacy of Faith

A Secret Hope – eBook By Vicki Huffman / WestBowPress

Creative Slow-Cooker MealsBy Cheryl Moeller / Harvest House Publishers  Short on time? These taste-tested dishes are long on convenience! Sharing more than 200 recipes, Moeller shows you how to use two crockpots to prepare delicious, healthy, frugal meals. In the morning just combine the ingredients in the pots and come home to Harvest-Time Halibut Chowder, Mediterranean Rice Pilaf, Rhubarb Crisp, and more delicious dishes. Spiral Bound.

 

What do you have planned for Mother’s Day this year?

 

 

 

 

The opinions expressed are my own. I was not asked to give a favorable review of any item referenced, compensated for a review, nor was a review sponsored. I was sent a Pouchee last summer to try out. All outgoing links access the product referenced. All book links access our affiliate, CBD.com.

A Mother’s Love

Based on 1 Corinthians 13:

If a mother speaks with the tongues of teacher and preacher to her children, if she urges them repeatedly to behave and make good grades so they won’t embarrass her, she becomes merely a loud noise that can be gotten used to and ignored.

If a mother has read books on child psychology and has attended parenting seminars and is smart enough to help her child with advanced algebra but would rather do it herself than assist the child, she leaves a mark more damaging than a zero in a grade book.

If a mother constantly makes beds, picks up towels and books, and never expects her child to do anything, she inflicts on society one more undisciplined young adult who will expect a mate to take over her job.

A mother’s love is patient. A mother’s love is kind. She does not envy other mothers who have children smarter or better looking than her own. Nor does she continually boast about her children’s accomplishments. A mother helps her children to be the best they can be while accepting them for what they are instead of what she wishes they were.

A mother’s love gives her children at least the common courtesy she would extend to strangers. She doesn’t search their rooms or their lives for areas to criticize. She knows that there will be enough necessary correction without nitpicking. She refrains from continually bringing up long-past errors.

A mother’s love rejoices every time her children show maturity and wisdom. She resists the temptation to encourage immaturity that keeps them dependent on her.

A mother’s love protects her children—hedging them in from the evils of the world while preparing them to face it. A mother’s love trusts her children. She allows them more freedom and responsibility as they grow older and prove they can handle it. She trusts God with her children, knowing that His love is greater than her own and that He will keep them. She teaches her children right from wrong and prays that they will follow the right. Even when they don’t, her loves perseveres.

The pure unselfish love of motherhood never fails, but other loves will fail. Love built on expectations will be disappointed; for who can fulfill our every expectation? Love based on attractiveness will diminish; for the child will lose that disarming baby charm and enter far less attractive stages. Love that feeds on personal attention will starve; for the maturing child will need—and accept—less mothering.

When I was a young mother I talked like an expert, imagining I could mold my children into exactly what I wanted them to be. But when I grew older, I put such foolish ideas behind me. Now I know that my children are neither tools to bolster my ego nor idols to be put on pedestals. They are individuals, formed and equipped by God for His purposes. Someday I will fully understand those purposes and will know if I prepared them well.

A Christian mother’s life is guided by faith, hope, and love. A mother’s faith prepares her children and entrusts them to God. A mother’s hope looks expectantly to their future. A mother’s love grows stronger with each passing day. One day her faith will be dissolved in sight and her hope will be fulfilled, no longer needed. But her love will go on through the eternal ages. For the greatest of these is a mother’s love.

©1989 Vicki Huffman

Vicki Huffman is the mother of two and grandmother of seven. Her latest book, A Secret Hope (2010, Westbow Press), is a novel about women’s relationships, especially the mother-daughter relationship. (It would make an ideal Mother’s Day gift—order from online book retailers and tell Mom it’s on the way.) Follow the link to read the first chapter free on the Mentoring Moments site and find ordering information.

Mother’s Day: It’s Not About Me

I wasn’t too enthusiastic about Mother’s Day last year.

My idea of the perfect day was to spend the afternoon at home in the air conditioning with my feet propped up while my kids and husband pampered me.

Instead, we had to rush out of church and drive an hour each way for a picnic with other family members.

When my 5-year-old came in to wake me up on Mother’s Day morning, I didn’t even open my eyes before I said, “It’s too early, go back to bed.”

Undeterred, he said, “Happy Mother’s Day, Mommy! I have some presents for you!”

Of course I had to open my eyes then and take a look at his sweet offerings. He was clutching several pictures he had made, including one embellished with cutouts and sealed in an envelope. Some of the pictures were folded neatly and placed inside an empty chocolate box, which he told me I could keep.

After I admired his drawings and thanked him for his thoughtfulness, he asked if he could lie down on the floor in my room until it was time to get up. He made a little bed for himself while I closed my eyes and tried to get a few more minutes of coveted sleep.

But I couldn’t settle back down. I could feel him watching me.

Every time I opened my eyes I found him staring at me, with an adoring smile on his face. I wanted to sleep, but all he wanted to do was bask in the presence of Mommy.

I was cut to the heart.  My vision of Mother’s Day had been selfish. I wanted a day when my family would show how grateful they were for me while I took a break from my motherly duties.

But in those sweet moments in the wee morning hours, the Lord reminded me how blessed I am to be a mom. Mother’s Day isn’t about celebrating me.  It’s about celebrating how gracious God has been to me.

A Mother’s Day Letter…

Rather than the focus being on what I can get or hope to get on Mother’s Day, I write a note to each family member and express reasons that make that person so special and let them know they are truly loved, valued, and an important member of the family.

Some ideas of specifics that you can include in your personalized letter to each family member:

• character qualities they show – diligence, initiative, determination…
• fruits of the spirit you see – joy, peace, patience…
• talents that God gave them that you see – playing an instrument, sports, memory recall, good listener
• strengths – things you see that they are good at
• skills – things they have learned  or are learning, working hard at, doing well with
• inside beauty – the heart, “man looks on the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart” – always notice and compliment them on their heart, their motives, i.e. “I watched you share the ball with the boy who was all by himself; I saw your heart be sensitive to making him feel included.”
• spiritual gifts you see that they are using for the Lord
• communication and people skills – being about others rather than themselves

Be specific.

Consider reading the letters aloud at family time or meal time so that all can hear. Add specific examples in your letter. You will see – the SPECIFIC situation that you recall in which you observed those character qualities will bring a sincere smile to your loved one’s face!

If you have never talked like that in your family before, begin now. You’ll see how it is a wonderful tool for creating a loving, safe, and encouraging environment in which your family members feel loved, valued, and needed.  One of the greatest ways I know to show your love for someone is to study them. By pointing out the things you’ve observed and appreciate in the uniqueness of each family member, you are expressing tremendous love.

Another spin-off of the idea above is to have each family member write a short letter (or just bullet points) of things that they appreciate, admire, and value in their family members. Set them out at each person’s place or read aloud by the author to each family member.