One of our main roles as a Mom is to teach our children to love, respect, and honor their father. What we say and do when he is not in our presence and when he is in our presence plays a big role in learning to respect Dad. We are the main ones to make our home a place he looks forward to coming home–a castle in which he is the king. The Lord and I did some serious talking about this issue of respect years ago. I realized I was the number one key to my children showing respect to their Dad.
Although I would get tired of my husband working long hours nearly every day, my children would hear me say, “I am very grateful that your dad works so hard and enjoys his job.” Believe me, I’ve had my share of times when I’ve handled this incorrectly. In fact, I had to go to my oldest son and do some serious repair work, telling him I was making a significant change to hold my tongue and show support. I had to say that although we might think Daddy is wrong for x, y, or z reasons, we are in control of how we use our tongue and we must communicate with respect.
Here are some ways to teach children to honor and respect Dad:
* On occasion we will send a letter or card to Dad at work, or we may pick up the phone and all say “We Love You” when he answers. Sometimes we make “We Love Daddy” signs and hold them up for his arrival home. Sometimes we leave love notes on his pillow.
* Sometimes I’ll have a discussion about Dad. “What do you really like about Dad?” might be a topic we talk about over lunch. We’ll pray for him, thanking the Lord for him and for needs he may have and asking the Lord to help him be successful at all he does that day.
* In front of other adults, my kids might hear me say, “John is an excellent cook” or “I’m so proud of the way he handled…”
*An opportunity to build up our husbands is to talk about them in a respectful and loving way during the day while they are away. Little comments here and there that point out ways you love him rather than why didn’t he do ‘x’?
* Smooching him in front of the kids is an idea I’ll bet your husband will enjoy. Or loosening up and saying, “WooHoo, my honey bun is home.” While it’s sure to embarrass your kids, it will also build stability and security in them.
* Do your children come to you for advice rather than their father? Simply saying, “Let’s ask Dad what he thinks” could be a statement you make. “Honey, what do you think?” By going to him, it shows that we need him, and we all need to be needed. It also shows that he is the authority and provider, not ourselves. Some of us are independent women, and we need to make sure we don’t plow right over our spouses.
We as moms do play a huge role in the tone of our home. Spend time with the Lord, asking Him for wisdom in this area. He’ll give it to you. He’ll guide you. He wants us to build up our husbands and our home, not tear them down.
“The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her.” Proverbs 31:10
About Rhonda Ellis
Rhonda Ellis is a wife of 29 years, a homeschooling mom to 6, a blogger, writer, speaker. Her passion is mentoring women in ways that impact hearts and homes for Christ. Grab a cup of coffee or a Diet Coke (water is allowed these days too) and be a "back porch" friend with her.Come read her blog at cultivatingahome.com. It's a great place to laugh, cry, share friendships and transparent hearts while sharing deep conversations about our journey with the Lord. You can also join her facebook page: www.facebook.com/TheRhondaEllis
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