Life Marriage

Forgiving and Forgetting, Not Rehashing

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We’ve all been to weddings where someone reads the “Love Verse” aloud. First Corinthians 13 is perfect for such an event.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” Cue screeching tire sounds.

Love keeps no record of wrongs? Are you sure?

Even if in our current argument, we don’t mention those hundred things that someone has done to offend us in the past, are we still remembering them? It’s hard not to, isn’t it?

We deal with the present by drawing from the past. That helps us grow wiser as we age. However, if we keep a list of how others have wronged us, are we really forgiving them?

David said in Psalm 32:1, “Blessed is the one whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered.”

The account in Luke 7:36-50  about the sinful woman washing Jesus’ feet with her tears and hair is a good example to remember. He said, “…her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little. Then Jesus said to her, ‘Your sins are forgiven.’”

If we’re supposed to strive to be like Christ and He didn’t keep a list of wrongs, that means we must try to erase that mental list as well. Easier said than done, right? Second Corinthians 10:5 says to “take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ.”

In his book Freedom to Forget, Dan Willis gives some basic tips on how to do just that. He says we should stop mentally rehearsing the details of the offenses. Don’t continually question God. Stop trying to understand why the person hurt you or analyze the person who offended you. Let it go and try to forgive, asking for God’s help and looking to the future.

Willis reminds us that forgiveness is a choice. Further, he suggests we think as children think. They forgive quickly and move on.

We can thank God that He doesn’t keep a record of our wrongs. David sang about it in Psalm 130: 3-4. “If you, Lord, kept a record of sins, Lord, who could stand? But with you there is forgiveness, so that we can, with reverence, serve you.”

Let’s embrace forgiveness, forget the list of wrongs, and serve God together!

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February: Love @ full strength in Christ

Emily-Beths-Bible logo / PhoAnchoring Deep in God’s Word Schedule today, 02/18/14: Leviticus 9-10 and Psalm 38-39.

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About Kelly Stigliano

Kelly J. Stigliano has been writing and speaking for over 3 decades. She and Jerry have celebrated more than 30 wedding anniversaries together—all proof of God’s redemptive power! Kelly made bad choices for years and shares the lessons she’s learned along the way, hoping to keep others from making the same mistakes. Because no one benefits when we wear masks, she tries to stay transparent. “Everyone has skeletons in their closets, but my closets don’t have doors on them!”

Encouraged? Share this post...

Kelly Stigliano

Kelly J. Stigliano has been writing and speaking for over 3 decades. She and Jerry have celebrated more than 30 wedding anniversaries together—all proof of God’s redemptive power! Kelly made bad choices for years and shares the lessons she’s learned along the way, hoping to keep others from making the same mistakes. Because no one benefits when we wear masks, she tries to stay transparent. “Everyone has skeletons in their closets, but my closets don’t have doors on them!”

To read some articles I’ve had published, hear about God’s story in my life from the “UNSHACKLED!” radio program or the Focus on the Family broadcasts, see my book, Praying for Murder, Receiving Mercy: From At-Risk to At Peace; My Journey from Fear to Freedom or explore the anthologies I’ve contributed to, please visit my website, www.kellystigliano.com.

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