Lately I have been thinking a lot about the choices I’ve made.
I have spent the past 13 years dealing with a couple of decisions that greatly affected not just me, but those around me.
I did not date much in high school or college. When this nice-looking young man started paying attention to me, I ate it up. I craved the attention he brought to my life. That desire started me on the wrong path that led to a wrong choice.
I was a Christian, but I neglected to seek my Father’s will and plan for my life.
Now, 47 years later, I still remember the still, small voice whispering a warning in my spirit when he proposed to me. I even told my young man I needed to think about it.
I believe if I had taken time to listen, God would have directed my path.
However, when he asked me if I really needed to think about it, I gave in and said yes. I said yes because of my desire to be married. I allowed my desires and his insistence to muffle God’s voice.
I got married.
That was my first choice.
The second choice was to not stand up against abuse in that marriage.
I allowed the actions and words of another to “steal my voice” and “make me invisible.” Those are not my words, they are the words of my counselor and my sister.
I allowed a person to control my life instead of seeking God’s best for me.
This impacted not only me, but my children. It also affected relationships with my parents, siblings, nieces, nephews, and friends. Truth is, the consequences are still being felt to this day. My hasty feet certainly did miss the way!
Now to the good news.
Before things fell apart in my marriage, I had begun earnestly seeking God’s will for my life. I don’t think He desired for my marriage to end, but I believe He gave my husband free will to make the decision to save or end it. He chose to end it.
Even in the end of my marriage I see His hand of mercy, love, and guidance. He delivered me from the path I had chosen years before.
Choices in My Past Cannot Be Changed
Since my marriage ended in 2005, God has set my feet on His way. As I’ve spent time in prayer, the Scriptures, and fellowship with my Christian family, He has opened and closed doors, provided resources, and guided my path in big and little ways.
When I’m tempted to follow my own way, He lovingly reminds me of choices made in the past. There is no guilt or condemnation, just the gentle loving hand of my Father who loves me so much.
During this time of contemplation, God has led me to realize that choices from my past cannot be changed, but God can use them to help me make choices in the present. I’m learning to live without regret, but with the wisdom that comes from Him. I’m trying to say like David:
“My steps have held to your paths; my feet have not stumbled.” (Psalm 17:5 NIV)
With God’s help and guidance I can do this — and you can too. Just ask. Listen. And obey.
Today’s post is part of MMCW’s mentoring series, Choices. Following are some questions / action steps to ask yourself or discuss with your mentor / mentoree the power of seeking God’s direction.
- Discuss a time when you waited and received direction from the Lord regarding a decision. Discuss a time when you did not wait on the Lord’s direction and how you knew you made a wrong choice.
- Choosing a mate is a life-changing decision that impacts future generations. What does God’s Word say about marriage and spouses?
- Write out Psalm 17:5 on an index card and memorize this week.
If you are in an abusive marriage, seek help immediately. Call 911, contact a close trusted friend, your faith community. Leave and find safety. Contact The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−7233 or visit their website.