|Love and Respect for a Lifetime, Gift Edition|
Love and Respect for a Lifetime by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs (Thomas Nelson Publishers, 2010)
As the title of this small gift book hints at, and the front cover of the book plainly states, author and founder of Love and Respect marriage conferences, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs’ emphasis is on a verifiable difference between women and men: “Women absolutely need love. Men absolutely need respect. It’s as simple and as complicated as that….
The author backs up the philosophy on which the book is based through his own poll of 7000 people whom he asked, “During a conflict with your spouse, do you feel unloved or disrespected?” The answers: 83% of men said they feel disrespected and 72 % of women feel unloved. He goes on to explain why that basic difference dictates how spouses should understand and treat each other. Backing up his theory biblically, he cites Ephesians 5:33 which says a husband must love his wife (as himself) and a wife must respect her husband.
Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, who had been Sr. Pastor of Trinity Church in East Lansing, Michigan for nearly 20 years, and his wife Sarah (they’ve been married since 1973) travel the country conducting Love and Respect marriage conferences. He credits this background for his insights: “After more than three decades of pastoring, counseling married couples, and conducting marriage conferences, I have learned that, in fact, the wife speaks a ‘love language’ and the husband speaks a ‘respect language.’ They don’t realize this, of course, but because he is speaking one kind of language (respect) and she is speaking another (love), there is little or no understanding and little or no communication.
Although I read nothing new (after 45 years of marriage and reading a lot of books on family relationships, I rarely do), the author has good insights into the dynamics of marriage and gives helpful reminders about things most of us know but sometimes fail to practice. He writes: “Marital researchers agree that a huge percentage of communication problems between husband and wife are due not to what is said but to how it is said—the attitude and tone of voice.”
Probably the best thing about the book is its solidly Christ-centered basis. Eggerichs’ affirms: “Marriage is a test of how you unconditionally love and respect your spouse as you obey, honor, and please the Lord. Primarily, you don’t practice love and respect to meet your needs in your marriage, as important as these are. Your first goal is to obey and please Christ. When you try to do this, often (but not always) your needs are met, and these are wonderful by-products and blessings. But your first goal is to obey and please the Lord. The road to a lasting Love and Respect marriage is a lifelong one, and there is no way you can travel it in your own strength. The task is overwhelming, and you need help from your heavenly Father, who knows your heart. If you want to do your marriage as unto Christ, you must ask Christ for help.”
My only criticism of this gift book is that there is not a lot of there, there. It is small (7” x 6”) and some of its 155 pages contain only one sentence or a graphic element—choices no doubt made by an editor who pulled from Eggerichs’ larger book, Love & Respect to create this gift version. Because of that, if I wanted to delve deeper into this author’s writings, my choice would be to buy the original book or his The Language of Love & Respect, rather than this partial-text gift edition.
For more information see the author’s website at: www.loveandrespect.com or facebook.com/loveandrespectministries.
Mentoring Moments is giving away a copy of Love & Respect for a Lifetime. Between now (Friday, February 11th, 2011) and Monday (February 14th, 2011) leave a comment to this post and one person will be chosen randomly. The winner will be notified via email.
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Vicki Huffman was provided with a copy of Love & Respect for a Lifetime for review purposes. No compensation was received by Vicki or MMCW for this book review.