Psalm 107:10-12: “Some sat in darkness and the deepest gloom, prisoners suffering in iron chains, for they had rebelled against the words of God and despised the counsel of the Most High. So He subjected them to bitter labor; they stumbled, and there was no one to help.”
1. Consider your insidious lies
Before you choose to break your marriage vows by viewing pornography, which is visual adultery, consider the deceptions involved. They go like this.
A. No one will ever know.
B. No one will get hurt.
C. No permanent consequences will occur.
D. No sin is involved, if it’s only on paper.
E. No theft will occur.
F. No damage will be done to my children (or grandchildren).
G. It will be no big deal to God.
Yet, even David was judged in the Bible for his adultery. God said in II Samuel 12:10, “Now, therefore, the sword will never depart from your house, because you despised me and took the wife of (someone else) to be your own.”
2. Break out of Jail!
Unfortunately, some husbands (and wives) find themselves caught in the prison of moral failure, with pornography. John Regier, Christian Biblical counselor, offers these steps to freedom:
A. Pray and tell God how you have violated His moral values.
B. Acknowledge the ground given to the Enemy of your soul.
C. Specifically confess each area of immoral desire, thought, and action.
D. In prayer, take back that ground given away, trusting in Christ and believing I John 1:9, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sin and purify us from unrighteousness.”
3. How to stay out of Prison.
God loves you and wants you to be free. For men to break free and stay free, from an addiction or destructive behavior, we need accountability.
A. It begins with calling out to God in prayer. Make yourself accountable to God, because all of us are accountable to Him, already.
B. Seek out other women who can be trusted and ask for their help.
C. We need to confess our sins to them and ask them to pray for us, to be restored by the power of the Holy Spirit. God will use these other people to help bring you back from self-destruction. Join a group from your church, if possible.
D. We need to give other women permission to ask us how we are doing, where we have been, and get our codes for our computer.
The Bible says in James 5:20, “Whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way will save him from death and cover over a multitude of sins.”
4. Walk Free
Marriage counselor John Regier believes Christ can set men free from the burden of past immoral episodes.
A. Confess your specific sins to God, then verbally yield every desire, thought, and action to Christ’s control.
B. Choose to forgive yourself for each failure.
C. We then accept the emotional pain and consequences we have caused ourselves and others.
D. Trust Christ. We daily give each area of our life to God to experience daily moral freedom and fulfillment.
E. God loves you and has an amazing plan for your life. We go on with our lives, in Christ, believing Psalm 103:11, “As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.”
Luke 4:18b “…proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed.”
Remember, marriage is for better, for worse, and for keeps.”
About Cheryl Moeller
Cheryl Moeller has been married to her best friend Bob for 30 years. They are the parents of six children, one son-in-law, and three lively dogs. She uses her over-the-counter-top stand up comedy at women's groups and retreats, prays like it's her full-time job, writes a syndicated humor column, blogs about life with lots of kids at www.momlaughs.blogspot.com, and authors books such as Keep Courting: 100 Ways to Keep Courting After Marriage (purchase on their website) and Marriage Miracle (Harvest House 2010). Bob and Cheryl's passion is to connect two hearts for a lifetime. They have co-founded For Better For Worse For Keeps Ministries www.bobandcherylmoeller.com.
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