* Affiliate links included.
A working woman who gave up her career in law to stay home with her newborn baby said,“When you have to be everything to everybody, you end up feeling too exhausted to be much of anything to anyone.”
Perhaps you echo the same sentiments today. You work outside the home, not by choice but by necessity, you have a family to care for, responsibilities at home and church and friendships to nurture. You cringe when you hear, “God will never give you more than you can handle,” not only because you know that phrase not to be biblical, but because you feel overwhelmed, stressed, and exhausted. As though God has, indeed, given you much more than you can handle.
New Seasons
While I do not have children quite yet, I am in a new season of learning how to manage my time while fulfilling God’s calling on my life to be a keeper of my home intentionally and passionately. I began a full-time job in July of 2014, married my husband on August 9th, then later I accepted a job in the corporate world on December 29th, all while being a full-time seminary student. These life changes have impacted me immensely as I am now learning how to help my husband, my primary role as his wife, while also being away from our home, the place where I used to believe I could help my husband the most, for eight to ten hours a day, five days a week.
This season has forced me to turn my heart (and brain) away from expectations I once held close. I am learning how I can best keep my home while also fulfilling my role as a wife. My husband has been so patient and understanding as I have adjusted to this new role. He has taken on responsibilities at home so that I do not have quite as much to do at the end of the day. The most efficient way to accomplish tasks at home may be for you to delegate those tasks that you feel someone else can do to your standards. If there are tasks that you are particular about, choose to do those yourself. For me, it’s the bathroom and kitchen. My husband can vacuum, dust, tidy our apartment, take out the trash, and even empty the dishwasher, but he’s not allowed to touch the bathroom or kitchen cleaning!
A second income is what God has called me to in this season of life.
I’ve realized that the best way I can help my husband in this season of our lives is to bring in a second income. When I first started working, I felt my heart becoming bitter and resentful toward my husband. I did not value his work because he was not in the corporate world while I had intense pride in what I do. These sentiments caused a riff in our marriage for a couple weeks until I changed my attitude.
Instead of letting bitterness take root in my heart, I had to change my way of thinking (Heb. 12:15). I am helping my husband by working, not because I want to work, but because this is how God has called me to help him in our marriage during this season. You may also have to change your thinking—putting aside your expectations and desires and clinging tightly to what God has called you to do in this season to help your husband the most.
Homemaking does not always mean staying at home full-time.
This area also required a complete change of mind for me. Growing up in a home where my dad worked full-time and was hardly ever at home, while my mom stayed at home with all four of us children, I had this as my expectation.
Scripture tells us in Titus 2:5 to “be busy at home.” But to be busy at home does not necessarily mean being there 24/7. If you are a woman who works outside the home, when you are at home, be busy caring for your place of refuge, making your home a place of solitude from the world for your family. Do not waste your time frivolously when given any amount of time with your family.
{Editor’s Note: Tomorrow Emily Beth will be back discussing the impact of expectations and legacy on the working woman.}
Recommended Resources:
The Nesting Place: It Doesn’t Have to Be Perfect to Be Beautiful
by Myquillyn Smith
Glimpses of Grace: Treasuring the Gospel in Your Home
by Gloria Furman
Treasuring Christ When Your Hands Are Full: Gospel Meditations for Busy Moms
by Gloria Furman
Women of the Word: How to Study the Bible with Both Our Hearts and Our Minds
by Jen Wilkin
Sources:
Randolph, Laura B. “Working Women.” Ebony 50, no. 5 (March 1995): 20.
About Emily Beth Davidson
Emily Davidson is a country girl from Mississippi in the big city of Fort Worth, Texas and loving life! Married in August 2014 to the man God hand-picked for her, she spends her days working in a corporate office, trying out new Paleo recipes, decorating and rearranging her 650 square foot apartment, Instagramming and completing her seminary degree at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. She and her Texan-husband spend Friday nights watching Redbox movies and Saturday’s antiquing. Follow her on Instagram @mrs.emilydavidson.
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