[Editor’s Note: If you missed yesterday’s post, read the first part of Amy Watter’s testimony at Faith that Can’t Be Shaken, Part 1.]
God saved my Daddy. He spent the next three years recovering, undergoing radiation, chemotherapy, proton therapy, and in general living his life. During that time, I had the privilege of saying EVERYTHING to my Daddy I’d ever wanted to say!
I’m sorry for that rebellious teenage thing I went through!
I’m sorry for running over the neighbor’s mailbox every morning on my way to school. Thanks for putting it back. (I never even knew about that until I was an adult.)
Thanks for taking me to the dump when I was a little girl. It was so much fun to be with you!
Thanks for helping me with my sod house project in third grade. I couldn’t have won the contest without you!
Thanks for trying to help me with Algebra. Sorry about all the tears and screaming!
What a gift! I had three years to say everything I ever needed to say. Most people don’t get that chance and when they lose someone, they regret not telling them how they really felt about them–how much they loved them. I don’t have to live with those regrets.
Fast forward to December, 2011, just eight months ago. Daddy went to the hospital for a routine operation on his leg. Everything went just as planned for most of the day. But that evening, something went horribly wrong. An artery ruptured in his leg and he went into cardiac arrest. I watched in horror for the next hour as they performed CPR and were able to finally bring him back, though he never would regain consciousness. They took him to the OR to repair the artery and then to ICU. The next few hours were a blur; things were not going well. The doctor remained with him most of the evening and into the night and reported to me every hour or so to tell me how Daddy was doing–and the news was progressively worse.
I’ll never forget that final conversation. The doctor came out, dripping with sweat, evidence to how hard he’d been trying to save my dad. He sat in a chair, put his head between his knees and took a deep breath. Then he told me, “I don’t think he’s going to make it.”
Now you might think that my first response would be to fall on the floor wailing. After all that’s what happened the last time I heard something like that.
Instead, and this is ALL God, and none of me, the FIRST thought I had and the first words out of my mouth were these. “Doctor, if this is Daddy’s day to die, not the best doctor in the world can save him – and if it’s not his day to die, no one on earth can kill him.”
Sound familiar? That is the truth that God gave me when my faith was shaken to its very foundation three years ago. That was the truth that I had made my own. MY GOD was still in charge – WHETHER or not Daddy lived. It was HIS will and HIS plan and it would be okay. Somehow, it would be okay.
Daddy went to be with Jesus about 7:30 the next morning and my life changed forever. I’ve cried rivers of tears. I’ve faced depression and loneliness. I’ve been more sad than I’ve ever been in all my life.
But my faith remained unshaken. WHY? Why could I be so strong in my faith now when just three years ago, I doubted God was in control.
BECAUSE MY FAITH HAS ALREADY BEEN SHAKEN and God proved Himself faithful!
I remember my friends who lost their son to cancer. I remember their unshakeable faith when their daughter was diagnosed with cancer. Now I understood. Their faith couldn’t be shaken because it already had been.
So when you meet someone whose spiritual strength you admire, ask them their story about how they gained that strength. And don’t be afraid when YOUR faith is shaken. Take that opportunity to let God meet you where you are, search the Scriptures, and let Him show Himself faithful on your behalf – regardless of your circumstances. Notice my dad died – but my faith grew anyway, all because I’d already been shaken to my core and found God faithful even there.
And that’s what I want to leave you with today.
The faith that can’t be shaken … is the faith that has been.
My husband Keith and I have been married 24 years and we have two incredible sons, Allan and Austin who are 20 and 13, respectively. I’m a homeschooling stay- at-home mom who would love to actually “stay at home” a lot more than she does. During these past few difficult years, my husband has been my soft place to fall and has helped me more than even he will ever really understand. Jesus has been my rock, my counselor, my peace, and my joy amidst life’s greatest suffering. I’m still adjusting to life without Daddy but my hope is in knowing that I will see him again because Jesus was his savior and Lord as well. You can find me blogging at Good Grief Takes Work.