I keep wrestling with the thought I married the wrong person. How can I know for sure the person I married was God’s will for me?
It’s not uncommon when couples are struggling with their marriage to wonder if you made the right choice when you got married. Doubts such as these are normal and natural and are usually temporary in nature and pass on.
There are clearly situations in Scripture where we are told not to marry certain people (such as the result of an adulterous affair or where one person is a believer and the other is not). Assuming that’s not the case, let’s look at how you can put an end to the nagging idea you married the wrong person.
You can find peace of mind and relief from your stress by going back to one of the most basic teachings of the Bible: God is in control of our lives. That means nothing happens in life without God’s permission or ultimate say in the matter. The biblical truth behind this prescription for peace of mind is this: God is sovereign. That means He is in complete control of all the events of our lives, including who you married.
Let’s get to the place where the Bible speaks directly to your worry that you married the wrong person, found in Genesis chapter 2, “Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and He brought her to the man” (verse 22). Did you catch that? God Himself fashioned, designed, and created the very first wife for the very first man. The Creator of the Universe created the very first woman exactly with Adam in mind (and vice versa).
First, stop repeating the thought you married the wrong person and instead three times a day thank God for creating the person you married just as He did. You can relax and take comfort in the fact that God, in His infinite wisdom and love, designed and fashioned the person you married with you in mind (and vice versa).
This leads me to my second point: Whenever you are assaulted by doubts that you married the wrong person, stop and repeat these simple words, “And God brought her to the man.” Do this each and every time you struggle with doubts and you will find yourself looking at your mate in a whole new way. “So this really is the person God had in mind for me…” will replace the ugly and discouraging thought you are mismatched and in the wrong marriage.
Even if you are going through a difficult time in your relationship, you can rest in the fact Jesus Christ is directing the course of your lives–past, present, and future.
“The LORD is in his holy temple; the LORD is on his heavenly throne. He observes the sons of men; his eyes examine them.” Psalm 11:4
Excerpted From For Better For Worse For Keeps by Bob and Cheryl Moeller / Published by Marriagevine
About Cheryl Moeller
Cheryl Moeller has been married to her best friend Bob for 30 years. They are the parents of six children, one son-in-law, and three lively dogs. She uses her over-the-counter-top stand up comedy at women's groups and retreats, prays like it's her full-time job, writes a syndicated humor column, blogs about life with lots of kids at www.momlaughs.blogspot.com, and authors books such as Keep Courting: 100 Ways to Keep Courting After Marriage (purchase on their website) and Marriage Miracle (Harvest House 2010). Bob and Cheryl's passion is to connect two hearts for a lifetime. They have co-founded For Better For Worse For Keeps Ministries www.bobandcherylmoeller.com.
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