Looking for a Bride

Proverbs 31 captures the words of a mother contemplating a wife for her son. If the king’s mother had been writing her oracle today, it may have sounded something like this:

Where do I begin my son to describe the kind of young woman I am hoping for as your wife? First, know that she will be a complement to who you are. She should never take the place of your relationship with God. As you both grow in relationship with God, you will grow closer together.

You will be able to trust her with your heart and hold nothing good back. She will need to be a hard worker, willing to get her hands dirty. Money may be tight at times, so she will need to clip coupons, shop sales papers, and be at home whether in Macy’s or at Wal-Mart.

I pray she will be blessed with the gift of hospitality and make your home and table a place where all feel welcome. May she have eyes that see the needs of those around her, and may she have the capability to meet them.

I hope she will have a deep love for you and the children God will bless you with. May you work together to raise your children after God’s own heart.

I am sure her beauty will be a drawing card, but know that through the years outer beauty may fade, but the inner beauty will get deeper and richer as she grows in her relationship with the Lord. As she opens her mouth, wisdom will pour forth and you will be proud, my son.

Carefully search for this gift, my son, and don’t settle for the world’s cheap imitation. She is worth waiting for.

We’re Planning a Wedding!

It’s official–our daughter is planning a wedding.

Everything is in place–the bridesmaid dresses, location and time.

What is not decided upon is the groom. That will come much, much later.

I’ve wondered when we would get around to talking about weddings.

As little girls, we all dream and plan, then we plan and dream some more about our wedding day. For my daughter it occurred as we picked out tomato plants, Canola oil, and Rubbermaid containers at Wal-Mart Saturday.

My mind was crowded with important things such as where I was going to plant the tomato plant and what to cook for dinner. DD’s mind was filled to overflowing with rose petals, long dresses and a 5 o’clock wedding.

In the hearts of little girls the Lord puts a desire, dream, and vision for their one-of-a-kind wedding day. It’s one of the beautiful mysteries of being a little girl.

While her thoughts are filled with flowers and sunsets, her groom is not even in the equation.

Poor little boy–he probably spent today swimming and riding his bike, not knowing she was planning one of the most important days of his life.

I’m sure his response would have been yuck had he known!

She will plan for years without him, but it does not mean he is not important.

From the time I found out I was expecting her I began preparing for him.

I made the decision with our first child to pray for our children’s future spouses. This prayer precedent was set by my grandparents who prayed for my husband, children, and children’s children from my birth until they passed way. Following their example, I also include prayers for parents, siblings, and friends who are right now greatly influencing the lives of my children’s future spouses.

Catching a glimpse of a beautiful wedding day in the distant (very distant) future was a joy. It’s all make-believe for her right now, but we all know it is one dream that can become reality.

She does not realize the missing ingredient, her groom, is the most important part of the day.

While she is dreaming of a long white dress with sequins and lace, I’ll be praying for a little boy that will one day be a part of our family.

Respecting Dad

We Shall Be Like Him

A few weeks ago I was out by myself on a Friday night.  I had big plans to go grocery shopping, all alone.

It was one of those moments.  I was driving along with the music cranked high, singing at the top of my voice.  I was enjoying the chance to worship.  But as I began to reflect on the Lord’s goodness, tears sprang to my eyes.  I was cut to the heart, remembering occasions during the week when I had spoken too sharply to my husband and been impatient with the children.

I was overwhelmed with a myriad of emotions: love for my family, sorrow over my failings, and an acute awareness of the brevity of life.  How could I have been impatient or harsh to these people I love so dearly? I was determined to never be impatient or angry again.  Never.  Never ever ever!

Yet even as I repented and prayed, I was keenly aware that once I stopped worshiping in my car and walked into the house, all bets were off.  It wouldn’t take much for me to forget all my lofty ideals and end up right back where I started.

I’ve been a Christian for a long time.  The first year saw major changes as glaring sins were forsaken.  But now, more than 20 years later, sanctification seems to come more slowly.  Pride and selfishness are harder to recognize, and the roots run very deep.

But I will get there.  I will!  I most definitely will.  The hope of the Christian mom’s life is that “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus,” Philippians 1:6.

Wouldn’t it be nice to go directly from who we are at the moment of our salvation to who we will be when we see Jesus face to face?  But this process involves time.  There is a beginning, and there is a point of completion.  We live in the time in-between.  A time of almost, but not yet.  Of longing, but not attaining.

In this in-between time, Jesus is my hope and certainty—and yours.  He is my hope when my sins are ever before me.  His blood paid for my sins, and His grace is sufficient for me.

He is my certainty.  All that He has promised me, He will fulfill.  He is transforming me to look more and more like Him, one brush stroke at a time until the masterpiece is finished.

It won’t be long before I actually will become who I want to be.  I’ll be my perfected self for an eternity, and I suspect the sins and shortcomings that plague me now will be barely even a memory then.

If this “hits you where you live,” listen to my podcast on The Multiple Personality Mom. It’s short but sweet, and full of hope for the imperfect mom.

“Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when he appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is,” 1 John 3:2

The Multiple Personality Mom Podcast

As women, we often experience a wide range of emotions on any given day. To our husbands and children–and even to ourselves–these mood changes can seem like multiple personalities. You may meet some of your “other selves” in this encouraging, allegorical podcast.

To access this free  podcast simply click here. You will be directed to our website where you can listen right from your computer. If you would like to download to your iPhone, iPod, or MP3 player click ‘Visit my Call’ on the podcast widget and follow the prompts.

Cutting the Apron Strings

When we found out we were going to have a child we began to dream of what he or she would become. We knew we would raise this child to love the Lord and follow His direction for his or her life. As young idealistic parents, we had no idea all that would be involved in bearing the responsibility of raising a child.

The child we had great dreams for is now a 22-year-old man. It has been amazing how quickly the years have passed. During those days we did teach him about Jesus, but we learned we could not make our son love Him. Loving the Lord was his choice. While he was young we could make our son do the right thing, but as he got older good decisions would have to be his choice. We adamantly pointed out the value of good choices and reminded him of the blessings that come from following Christ, but ultimately following Jesus was a heart issue. That is why teaching not only what we believe but why was so important. We spent time with our son and showed him unconditional love even when his decisions did not please us. At that point we taught him the effects of swift discipline to remind him next time to choose the better way. Our responsibilities were tedious at times and at others filled with laughter, joy, and tears of delight.

As this young man arrived at his 18th birthday, we knew our role would change. At that point I purchased a chef’s apron and called our family together for a ceremony. My husband officiated as we explained to our young man that we had given him everything we knew to help him be the man God wanted him to be. We assured him that we were proud of him and loved him more than words could say. With that, we presented our son with the apron. As he unwrapped it he had a quizzical look on his face. His father and I then took a pair of scissors and with great pride and yet some fear we snipped one of the apron strings. With the severing of that string we were giving him a visual example of us setting him out on his own. We reminded him of the other string and told him that on the day he is married we will cut it, symbolizing our setting him out unto the Lord to be the man God created him to be. We closed our time together with a prayer of thanksgiving and a petition that God would lead this young man.

Since that day we have followed suit with another of our four children, and we look forward to the day when we hold the severed strings of all of our children. I know we have not been perfect parents, but we have and are doing the very best we can with what we have in order to be the parents and stewards of the children God has entrusted to us.

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The Value of Motherhood

The Value of Motherhood
Moms often struggle with the question, “Who am I?” as they spend their days investing in everyone else. This message will encourage you to see the true significance in a seemingly mundane job.

Superheros of the Faith

Are you perpetuating the myth of Supermom? I am guilty of doing so. I play Supermom when someone says, “I just don’t know how you do it all!” and I just smile instead of answering, “I don’t do it all!”

I also perpetuate the myth when I put the women I admire on a pedestal. In my mind, their sins must be few and far between, whereas mine loom large. Their devotion to God is always passionate, while mine is fickle.

The funny thing is, a lot of those women probably make the same comparisons, imagining that I am the Supermom while relegating themselves to mere mortal status.

The truth is, there is no such thing as Supermom. We all have sinned and fallen short of God’s glory. The evil one uses the supposed “Supermom” across the aisle to discourage us in our own imperfect Christian walk, while appealing to our pride when those same women stand in awe of us.

It is good to have heroes of the faith, just as it is good to challenge one another, as iron sharpens iron. But we attempt to steal glory from Christ when we suppose that the goodness we see in “Supermom” comes from within herself. My goodness–and yours–should point us all to Christ. He is working within us both to produce fruit in keeping with repentance. Were it not for that great grace, none of us would resemble Supermom at all.

Preparing My Heart for Motherhood

Preparing My Heart For Motherhood

Motherhood: What a significant yet daunting role. Where do we find inspiration for the long journey of parenting from infancy to adulthood? In Preparing My Heart for Motherhood Ann Stewart, author of two other Bible studies and mother of two preteen daughters, directs us to answers from God’s Word.

As research for this Bible study, Stewart asked dozens of mothers, “What do you wish you had known before you became a parent?” She combined their practical insights with truths from God’s Word to write this study, which will strengthen marriages and encourage moms.

Each day of this five-week study begins with a heart-stirring story of an experienced mother who shares her struggles and victories. The moms featured are ordinary, but they have been tested in the trenches of motherhood and have learned to depend on God. They come from different seasons and circumstances of parenting. So whether you’re an expectant mom, a single mom, stepmom, foster mom, an adoptive mom, a mom of teens, or even a grandmother, you’ll find wisdom for your stage of parenting. You’ll also learn from moms with serious illnesses and a mom who lost a child.

With the variety of topics, this study includes something for every mom. Do you desire to feel God’s love for you in a deeper way or to grow in your love for your husband or children? Are you struggling to forgive someone, or do you want to pray more effectively for your children? Would a motherhood mission statement assist you to focus on your important task of mothering? Stewart offers help in these areas and many more.

The Bible passages are printed in the study guide along with thought-provoking questions called “heartwork.” And you don’t need to be a biblical scholar to answer them.

Just as mothers nurture their children, so this Bible study will nurture your soul. Although our children grow up, we never outgrow our title of “mother” or our need to grow spiritually. To help you mature in your faith, consider this warm, practical study that affirms the role of mothers. Filled with Scripture to treasure, it is suitable for individual or group use. Consider it as a gift for mothers you know or as a study for women in your church or community.

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Mother’s Day Expectations

I have noticed personally and in talking with friends over the years, that Mother’s Day can be a difficult day for many.  This sometimes is due in part to expectations of a particular gift, a special dinner, the vision of how your family will honor you, or some type of celebration you have in mind that does not materialize.

Here’s what I learned many years ago  that totally changed my expectations on Mother’s Day:

Since it is such a joy and honor to be a mother, I use the occasion to write a personal letter to eachof my children, telling them how blessed I am to be their mother. I also point out attributes and character qualities I admire. This is a great time to recall specific examples demonstrated in their lives. In addition, I list skills and talents I see in them and say something like, “You’re my favorite 10- year- old in the world” or “I hope you have a child like you one day.”

This letter (short or long, typed or handwritten) is given to them during meal time.

By the way, I personally do not enjoy going  out to lunch on Mother’s Day because of the crowd, long waits, and loud atmosphere. Thankfully, my husband and kids do the meal for me. (If this was not the case, I just might prefer eating out.)

When at home, gathered around our dining room table (not necessarily on Mother’s Day), I read aloud each child’s letter. While glancing  into their eyes, I end it with, “I love you and I’m glad I’m your Mom.” 

 There have been years when their letter is placed under their plate or in a special box at each child’s seat. Sometimes  they read them silently to themselves. However, my favorite way is to share aloud the worth of each child with the whole family.

To leave a comment:

• If you are reading this post in email form, click the article headline. This will take you to the article on MMCW’s website.
• Scroll down until you see the box entitled ‘Speak Your Mind’.
• Enter your name, email (it will not be published) and your website or blogsite if you have one (you do not have to have one).
• Click on the big empty space and then begin typing your comments.
• When you are done, click ‘submit comment’.  That’s it!  We look forward to hearing from YOU!

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