Need a Mommy Time-out?

As I was ironing a blouse for church Wednesday night, a crumbly substance began appearing. Before I could react, the iron stuck to my top leaving a large brown spot of something on it.

Driving to church, in the aforementioned top (after cleaning it up), I realized what it was…

Pepperidge Farm Cinnamon Bread.

Apparently one of my children decided to use the iron instead of the oven for toast. Maybe I should feel lucky we were out of cheese or my stain would have been a gooey mess.

Do you have those kind of days? Do you need a Mom break to recharge, renew, and refresh?

I would enjoy listening to good mentors who are ahead of me on this parenting journey. Maybe with a cold glass of Coke with shaved ice (I’m not a coffee gal), some chocolate, a comfortable seat, and (definitely) air conditioning. Women talking about issues such as raising girls, social media savvy mommyhood, having ‘the’ talk, parenting children with special needs, nuturing boys, bargainomics, home organization, and more.

Wanna go and meet me there? I’ll save you a seat and we’ll talk about how to remove foreign substances from irons.

September 23-24, 2011

You thought I was kidding? I’m not, save the date–yes, there’s a real event for us Mommies!

.Mom
Birmingham, Alabama

MMCW is not receiving any perks for promoting .Mom–it’s just something we all truly want to attend. I’m serious, I would love to meet up with MMCW followers so we can take part in a weekend of awesome mentoring together. Special speakers for the weekend include Priscilla Shirer, Vicki Courtney, and Angela Thomas. There will be breakout sessions along with a shopping expo right onsite!

Make plans now–and bring along a friend! If you are a grandmother, consider bringing your daughters and daughters-in-love for a girl’s weekend. The conference is at the Sheraton Birmingham making it a one-stop location. The conference is $79, plus hotel. Call and book your hotel room, register online at Lifeway (conference host) and start packing!

Let me know if you are planning to attend and we can plan to meet!

Summer Goals for Family Fun & Growth – Part 1

“Be careful, then, how you live–not as unwise but as wise making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.” Ephesians 5:15,16

To accomplish an enjoyable and productive summer for your family begin by setting your goals now. Prayerfully consider each of the following points:

What are the priorities for your family this summer?

o   To grow spiritually.
o   To learn to be a goal setter, to have ambition, to think big.
o   To be productive and use time wisely.
o   To prevent (reduce) wasted time (TV, video, computer).
o   To plan for relaxation.
o   To build family relationships.
o   To build friendships.
o   To further talents and skills.
o   To plan to minister to others.
o   To prevent self-absorption.
o   To learn how to talk with God about this and get ideas from Him and set goals/priorities according to HIS plan.

What are you wanting to limit/minimize this summer?

• TV, computer, fighting, hanging out in room alone, texting, hibernating phone/computer games, wasting time.
• Kids should not wake up saying, Where are we going today?
• Make home be your families’ favorite place.
• Work toward the closest friendships being family members.
• Work toward living by the priorities.
• When your day is off track, just do the next thing.
• Have a TO DO list of daily chores/things needing to be done. Work toward daily chores by not complaining but helping out as a family member. Make sure they have time for fun/relaxing.
• Go over day’s schedule as a family (shows respect).

In part 2 of this series on Monday, we will break down our goals into categories covering spiritual, character, home, relationships, and more.

Today’s challenge: In your journal or a notebook, use my lists as a starting point to list what your family’s purpose will be this summer. Next, list the areas to limit or minimize in the next few months. Share with your spouse and add in his recommendations and any changes he suggests. Now that you have a  priorities list for your summer, begin praying together. Allow the Lord to speak to your hearts and further develop and fine tune your list.

A Mother’s Love

Based on 1 Corinthians 13:

If a mother speaks with the tongues of teacher and preacher to her children, if she urges them repeatedly to behave and make good grades so they won’t embarrass her, she becomes merely a loud noise that can be gotten used to and ignored.

If a mother has read books on child psychology and has attended parenting seminars and is smart enough to help her child with advanced algebra but would rather do it herself than assist the child, she leaves a mark more damaging than a zero in a grade book.

If a mother constantly makes beds, picks up towels and books, and never expects her child to do anything, she inflicts on society one more undisciplined young adult who will expect a mate to take over her job.

A mother’s love is patient. A mother’s love is kind. She does not envy other mothers who have children smarter or better looking than her own. Nor does she continually boast about her children’s accomplishments. A mother helps her children to be the best they can be while accepting them for what they are instead of what she wishes they were.

A mother’s love gives her children at least the common courtesy she would extend to strangers. She doesn’t search their rooms or their lives for areas to criticize. She knows that there will be enough necessary correction without nitpicking. She refrains from continually bringing up long-past errors.

A mother’s love rejoices every time her children show maturity and wisdom. She resists the temptation to encourage immaturity that keeps them dependent on her.

A mother’s love protects her children—hedging them in from the evils of the world while preparing them to face it. A mother’s love trusts her children. She allows them more freedom and responsibility as they grow older and prove they can handle it. She trusts God with her children, knowing that His love is greater than her own and that He will keep them. She teaches her children right from wrong and prays that they will follow the right. Even when they don’t, her loves perseveres.

The pure unselfish love of motherhood never fails, but other loves will fail. Love built on expectations will be disappointed; for who can fulfill our every expectation? Love based on attractiveness will diminish; for the child will lose that disarming baby charm and enter far less attractive stages. Love that feeds on personal attention will starve; for the maturing child will need—and accept—less mothering.

When I was a young mother I talked like an expert, imagining I could mold my children into exactly what I wanted them to be. But when I grew older, I put such foolish ideas behind me. Now I know that my children are neither tools to bolster my ego nor idols to be put on pedestals. They are individuals, formed and equipped by God for His purposes. Someday I will fully understand those purposes and will know if I prepared them well.

A Christian mother’s life is guided by faith, hope, and love. A mother’s faith prepares her children and entrusts them to God. A mother’s hope looks expectantly to their future. A mother’s love grows stronger with each passing day. One day her faith will be dissolved in sight and her hope will be fulfilled, no longer needed. But her love will go on through the eternal ages. For the greatest of these is a mother’s love.

©1989 Vicki Huffman

Vicki Huffman is the mother of two and grandmother of seven. Her latest book, A Secret Hope (2010, Westbow Press), is a novel about women’s relationships, especially the mother-daughter relationship. (It would make an ideal Mother’s Day gift—order from online book retailers and tell Mom it’s on the way.) Follow the link to read the first chapter free on the Mentoring Moments site and find ordering information.

Mother’s Day: It’s Not About Me

I wasn’t too enthusiastic about Mother’s Day last year.

My idea of the perfect day was to spend the afternoon at home in the air conditioning with my feet propped up while my kids and husband pampered me.

Instead, we had to rush out of church and drive an hour each way for a picnic with other family members.

When my 5-year-old came in to wake me up on Mother’s Day morning, I didn’t even open my eyes before I said, “It’s too early, go back to bed.”

Undeterred, he said, “Happy Mother’s Day, Mommy! I have some presents for you!”

Of course I had to open my eyes then and take a look at his sweet offerings. He was clutching several pictures he had made, including one embellished with cutouts and sealed in an envelope. Some of the pictures were folded neatly and placed inside an empty chocolate box, which he told me I could keep.

After I admired his drawings and thanked him for his thoughtfulness, he asked if he could lie down on the floor in my room until it was time to get up. He made a little bed for himself while I closed my eyes and tried to get a few more minutes of coveted sleep.

But I couldn’t settle back down. I could feel him watching me.

Every time I opened my eyes I found him staring at me, with an adoring smile on his face. I wanted to sleep, but all he wanted to do was bask in the presence of Mommy.

I was cut to the heart.  My vision of Mother’s Day had been selfish. I wanted a day when my family would show how grateful they were for me while I took a break from my motherly duties.

But in those sweet moments in the wee morning hours, the Lord reminded me how blessed I am to be a mom. Mother’s Day isn’t about celebrating me.  It’s about celebrating how gracious God has been to me.

Bring Your A-Game

I’m a pretty good cook. And I love to be in the kitchen.

But I’ve never been very good at handicrafts. I seem to be all thumbs, and my husband has often told me that I am “blind in my mind’s eye.”  I just can’t picture what a project should look like when it is done or what steps it takes to get from point A to point B.

No matter how hard I’ve tried, I haven’t been able to overcome the fact that I am handicraft-challenged. With blood, sweat and tears I’ve learned to use a glue gun, but I’ll never be one of those women who weaves place mats on a loom constructed from string and a cardboard box.

So why put so much energy into trying to improve? Society tells us that we need to work to overcome every weakness, even though many times the reward won’t be commensurate with the amount of effort it took to get there.

We need to think about our weaknesses and strengths differently. Instead of pouring so much time and effort into trying to change the weak areas of our personality, we should spend a little time trying to improve on our strengths.

No amount of work is going to turn me into Martha Stewart, at least when it comes to making centerpieces. But it wouldn’t take me much effort at all to begin to emulate her in the kitchen. Put another way, my grade in handicrafts is an F. If I try really hard, I may be able to raise it to a C-. Will that really impact my life, or anyone else’s? Will my kids remember, “She was an average crafter” at my funeral? But what if I could change my A grade at cooking to an A+? With far less effort, I can achieve far greater impact.

By working with my personality, instead of against it, I can bring my A-game to my mothering.

We are usually remembered for the things we really excel at. Those are typically the things that give us the most joy, as well. I’m working on learning to let go of my expectations to be decent at everything to focus on being really great at a few things.

In years past, I’ve kicked myself for not doing a lot of hands-on craft projects with my kids. I hate hands-on craft projects, and you know I’m all thumbs…but I feel guilty when I hear what other homeschoolers are doing with their kids. I want my kids to have fond memories of our activities, not memories of mommy crying because a drinking straw, a thread and two paperclips didn’t make a scale, as promised.

Several years back, I decided to focus on feasts instead. Sure, we’ll do a few hands-on projects, but most of our creative energy is being spent preparing feasts. We are learning lots of great things about the countries we are studying, and my kids are enjoying trying new foods and working with me in the kitchen. I’m enjoying it, too!

A small amount of effort on my part is yielding big rewards. Now it’s all about camaraderie and happy memories, not about blood, sweat and tears.

We’re Having a…

In life, there are few things more exciting than discovering you’re carrying a new life. It’s a special season that includes attention to health, medical visits and research. Countless websites provide information on baby names and their meanings, a baby’s en utero development, as well as products to design the perfect nursery.

After a first trimester that may include odd cravings, fatigue and morning sickness, the time arrives for the much anticipated ultrasound. It is at this appointment that many hope the sex of their unborn child will be revealed. Expectant mothers enter the exam room with their ultrasound tech, hoping their little bundle of joy isn’t particularly modest on this occasion.

Learning of news as significant as the gender of your precious, little miracle in an impersonal office setting can seem rather cold to some expectant parents. As a result, many are now opting to host a Gender Reveal party to discover, as well as announce, the gender of their new addition to family and friends. With a little creativity and planning, anyone can host this popular new party occasion.

Before the ultrasound appointment date, visit your bakery to discuss the options for a decorated cake. The baker may dye the cake batter blue or pink to create colored layers or, alternatively, may use pink or blue tinted icing between the cake layers. This means the “gender reveal” is done when the cake is cut by the expectant parents at the party.

Next, contact your midwife or the ultrasound office and explain your plans for a Gender Reveal party. Make a request for the technician to seal the ultrasound findings in an envelope or ask the medical office to call your bakery after your appointment. The envelope may be entrusted to a friend to handle the details or the office will share the gender with the bakery, so the parents will be surprised by the reveal along with their guests.

Then, choose a location and begin planning your Gender Reveal party. Party themes can be as personal as the family planning it and may include a “Boy or Girl?” theme or even a “What will it ‘Bee’?” theme. The menu may be personalized by serving the expectant mom’s cravings or family members’ favorites.

If there are older siblings, there are many creative ways to honor them at the gathering. Including baby photos of other children, along with the ultrasound photo of the newest family member, can make a nice arrangement for guests to enjoy. The cake design may include cupcakes, petit fours or layers that display the names or number of your other children, with the colored, piped icing indicating their gender.

A chalkboard or displayed tally sheet for guests to cast their gender predictions will add to the party fun. Another idea is to include a voting area for boy and girl names that are being considered. Guests may wish to arrive at the event wearing colors that indicate their guess as to the baby’s gender.

As with any memorable occasion, make sure your special time is captured on camera so it can be remembered and shared. Your loved ones will cherish participating in such a warm, meaningful time. Whether you plan a small, intimate gathering or a large, festive event, a Gender Reveal party can be an unforgettable experience for all that attend.

Tambrie Kitchens enjoys exciting, adventure-filled days homeschooling her two extraordinary daughters, Gabrielle and Arabella. Together, they love finding creative ways to express hospitality while residing in Savannah, GA. Find easy entertaining ideas at: http://blessedzest.blogspot.com/

What Pimples Prove

My youngest daughter was standing in the kitchen ready to practice her violin.  Her oldest sister said, “What’s on your cheek?”

“Nothing.  Just a red spot,” replied the youngest.

Two other kids crowded around her instantly, pressing their faces close to hers to inspect this “red spot.”

“Hey, you’ve got a pimple!” her sister announced.

“No,” countered her brother, “it’s a real live ZIT!”

So she ran off to the bathroom to check it out.  Could it be true?  Could it really be happening to her?

As I watched this happen in front of my eyes I said nothing.  I was trying to come up with words of consolation, not to mention trying to console myself that my baby has pimples!  I needn’t have worried though.

She raced down the stairs to tell her dad and brother the big news.  As she danced her way back up the stairs, she flung her hands into the air and with great flair said, “Finally!  I can’t believe I’ve finally got a pimple!  God really is helping me grow up and not stay a kid!”

Who can argue with that logic?  If only I looked at my circumstances and trouble with the mature perspective of my eight-year-old daughter.

As women we often struggle with and obsess over the hard things that come our way, much like we did with the pimples on our faces as teenagers.  We forget that with growth comes pain, with maturity comes the acceptance that not everything will be perfect, good maybe, but not perfect.

“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”
John 16:33 (NLT)

Is there a pimple in your life that you’ve been picking at and complaining about?  Why not rejoice instead that God has already overcome the world and has trusted you with a temporary trial–a trial that is as fleeting as yesteryear’s pimples?

12 Ways to a No-Regret Life

Teach these practical, transferable 12 crucial life lessons to help your children make wise choices, each day.  From truths learned from personal experience, we want to encourage you to teach your children these disaster-busters. (They work well for adults, too.)

1)  Apologize quickly and sincerely as soon as you realize that you’ve wronged someone (particularly your parents and siblings).

2)  Never feel sorry for yourself (self-pity is another form of pride).

3)  Stay in control of your emotions.

4)  Never burn bridges behind you in relationships.

5)  Nothing is ever gained by quitting.

6)  Remember, there are more people counting on you than you realize.

7)  Don’t forget that God is at work, even when you can’t see it.  God is working right now, in ways you don’t know.

8)  Love your family!

9)  Meet every day with prayer, praise, and God’s Word.

10) Stay connected to the hearts of your family (particularly in a time of testing).  To solve a problem with another person, soften your own heart first.

11) Listen to those who love you, before making a life-changing decision.

12) A good name is more valuable than great wealth.

2 Corinthians 7:10 “Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret.“

Parenting Conference

Many of you have come to love and appreciate Molly Evert’s parenting podcasts here at MMCW.  March 11-12th she will be sharing at the Biblical Parenting Vision and Strategy conference on building loyalty between siblings in Atlanta, GA.  This is a unique conference blending encouragement and motivation with actual hands-on tools to address family issues. The speakers, workshop leaders, and exhibit booths provide you with a multi-faceted learning environment. The conference is hosted by the National Center for Biblical Parenting.

Of course, the emphasis of the conference is on the hearts of your children. Many parents simply use behavior modification to get their kids to do what they want. The results are often frustrating for parents who’d like to see lasting change.

In this conference you will learn strategies that work. Although all children are unique and parents have different styles, there are some tools that can make all the difference between a family that’s growing and a family that’s struggling.

If you would like more information and conference details, click here.

What’s the Plan?

The first of my four children is preparing to leave home. I use the word preparing loosely because there is no real plan, at least not one that qualifies as mom and dad approved. He was gung-ho for the Marines until the repeal of “don’t ask don’t tell” and the death of a local soldier. Then it was the police academy, an EMT course at a local technical school, fireman training, or maybe a plumbing class. One thing he has remained adamant about is that traditional college is out of the realm of possibility, at least in the immediate future. We do know a part of his current after graduation plan is to rent a place with a couple of friends, neither of whom, really, has anything settled either.

As one might imagine we, as his parents, are worried. We worry over his ability to provide for himself and his future family. We worry about the consequences of possible bad decisions . We worry about his safety and even his life. Without a doubt these feelings are not so different than those our own parents felt as we set out to chart our own destinies. Believe me when I say they had cause for concern.  Yet here I am today a conservative Christian in a traditional marriage with four children, a dog, a cat, and a hamster.

I have said “there but for the grace of God I go” far too many times for it not to be only by the grace of God that I’m here. As I spent time in prayer recently, God gently reminded me of that  and the fact that His grace still abounds and is available to my son too. He whispered to my spirit, “Don’t worry, I’ve got it covered” and the wonderful thing is I know He does. He has a plan even if my son does not.

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