I sat on my patio one evening enjoying the view while Cinnamon went about her business. There is a concrete step right outside the door to my apartment building where people and dogs come and go continuously. In nice weather those who live in the upper floor apartments often sit on the stoop when they bring their dogs outside. You can imagine the scents and odors to be found there.
Here was my cute little baby on a very long leash with freedom to explore the sweet scents of the grass and trees to her heart’s content but to what does she keep returning? You got it—the stoop. She sniffs around the yard for a few minutes until she’s done what she needs to do and then she makes a beeline for the concrete pad. If it had any color to it she’d sniff it out! I tug on her leash to redirect her to what I see as more pleasing activities. She makes a circle and works her way back to the stoop. She’s obsessed with that stoop and its odors.
God keeps using my puppy dog to teach me lessons about myself. I’ve learned so much from watching her over the 11 ½ years she’s been with me. As I sat there watching her return again and again to that smelly stoop God spoke to me.
“Ginny, just like Cinnamon you keep going back to the smelly things of your life. I’ve delivered you from those and shown you a brighter and better world. Why do you insist on returning to the things from which I’ve set you free?”
Wow! What an eye-opening question that was? Too often I allow the hurts, the disappointments, the failures of yesterday to affect my choices and actions today.
I keep picking at the scabs of wounds instead of allowing them to heal completely. I asked God to help me move on into the life He has planned for me.
I found the way He directed me to be quite interesting. Over the years I’ve kept journals in one fashion or another. Different seasons have led to different styles of entries into each book. I started a few years before my divorce and have continued since then. I express myself best through writing and it’s been very therapeutic.
A few days after this experience with Cinnamon, God laid on my heart the desire to go back to the journals I started right before my marriage ended. I’ve tried to do this before, but my heart wasn’t ready because it hurt too much to remember. This time it is proving to be a freeing experience. I’ve begun writing a blog based on my journals. I’m loving it! I can’t wait to discover all the miracles God has done in my life over the past 13 years. I can’t wait to recall lessons learned, hurts healed, and plans fulfilled. It’s wonderful.
I believe God in His perfect timing knew I was ready for this journey. He used my silly little dog to open me up not to returning to the smelly things but to soaking in the scents of forgiveness, healing, blessings, and God winks found in those pages. Before, when I tried to revisit my journals, I focused on the hurts, rejections, difficulties, and pains. Today I bathe in the love, mercy, grace, peace, and hope God has lavished on me over the years.
I love how God uses our difficulties and trials to minister to others who may be experiencing the same things we do. No one understands me like someone who’s been where I am at any given moment. That’s why Jesus is my best Friend. He alone perfectly understands because He alone suffered, bled, and died for me. Amazing isn’t it!
*Affiliate links included.