Do you ever hear an expression that reminds you of something your mother used to say? Do you find yourself using the same expressions—even the ones you swore you wouldn’t—with your own children? A mother’s words, whether because of wisdom or mere repetition, can become set in concrete in our minds.

Mothers have an adage for every occasion. Meeting strangers: “Don’t talk to them or take anything from them.” Meals: “Eat everything on your plate. There are starving children in China.” Accidents: “Don’t do that. You’ll break your neck.” (My neck was apparently in danger many times.) And just in case: “Always wear clean underwear with no holes in case you’re in an accident.”

Then there was her seasonal advice. Would I really catch pneumonia if I didn’t take a sweater in the fall or went out in the winter with wet hair? I don’t know what would have happened if I wore white shoes before Easter or after Labor Day. I grew up being warned against such folly and so far have avoided it.

See if any of these motherly expressions bring back memories:

“Don’t ask why. Because I said so.”

“A little hard work never hurt anyone.”

“Pretty is as pretty does.”

“If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.”

“I’m doing this for your own good. Someday you’ll thank me.”

Motherly advice is nothing new. It has been going on since Eve, who probably warned her children of the danger of talking to snakes. In the Book of Proverbs, Solomon tells us that his mother gave him advice: “The sayings of King Lemuel—an oracle his mother taught him” (Prov. 31:1 NIV).  Since there was no “King Lemuel” in Israel’s history, most Bible scholars assume this was what Solomon’s mother called him. (Mother’s nicknames—a whole ’nother category.)

What did Solomon’s mother tell him? She warned him against wild women and alcohol and urged him to be a kind-hearted ruler (31:2-9). History records that advice—like that of many other mothers—was mostly ignored.

Whether personally heeded or not, the proverbs Solomon collected that were included in the Bible abound with motherly (and Heavenly Father) concern and wisdom. Here are a few that Solomon may have heard while growing up around the palace:

“My son, if sinners entice you, do not give in to them” (Prov. 1:10).

“Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise!” (6:6).

“Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall” (16:28).

“Cast but a glance at riches, and they are gone, for they will surely sprout wings and fly off to the sky like an eagle” (23:5).

“Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue” (17:28).

“The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother” (29:15).

In other words, Solomon’s mother (like you and I) probably said to her offspring:  “Someday you’ll thank me for this.”

©copyright 2012 by Vicki Huffman

Vicki Huffman is the author of two Christian non-fiction books and one Christian-based novel which are available in various forms through the author (email Mentoring Moments) or amazon.com. To read the first chapter of her novel A Secret Hope at no cost, follow here.

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In the 15^th chapter of Luke, Jesus tells a parable about a father and his two sons. Usually, those verses are under a heading titled, “The Prodigal Son” and the focus of numerous lessons I’ve heard preached through the years typically seems to be on the wayward younger son.  However, these days as I move to a different side of motherhood, the side where I have to start letting go, where I no longer choose who my child can hang out with or how his time is spent,  this parable is teaching me something new.  I feel a connection with the father and can only imagine how the experience would have felt from his perspective.

Initially when his son asked for a portion of the inheritance, it had to hurt his heart. In that day’s culture to have asked for an inheritance from the living was like saying, “I wish you were dead.”  Then upon deciding to give the money and let his son do whatever he pleased, the father had to have assumed it might end badly.  Don’t you wonder if people came to this dad while his son was away to share the latest news and gossip of his exploits?  I can just imagine someone telling him about the rumored booze and prostitutes.  Later on when the money was gone, maybe a well-intentioned neighbor told him how his boy was now slopping pigs to earn a living.  Don’t you suppose that in knowing, he would want to march right into that town and yank him back home?

How about if he never heard a thing about his son? In this era in which we live, this time of cell phones and texting, I have panic attacks when I don’t hear from my kids several times a day. Can you imagine if he had no idea whether his child was alive or dead? If it were you, wouldn’t you want to hire a private investigator, or go yourself and look?  I have no doubt that this dad worried, that he cried out to God, that he wondered where he went wrong, but he also put aside all those feelings and he waited, patiently. Then when the wait was over, he welcomed his son home eagerly and with great joy.

If, like me, you have concerns over choices your child is making but need to let go as the father in Scripture did, take heart in the waiting–for God gives us hope.

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Proverbs 12:7 The wicked are destroyed and are no more, but the family of the righteous  will endure. 

Proverbs 11:21 The evil person will surely not go unpunished, but the children of the righteous will escape.

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And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3:17

I am sick of laundry, dirty dishes and filthy floors.

I am the mom, not the maid!

Have you ever felt that way?  As a mom of many, I must admit I get to this point more often than I care to admit.  A few years ago I was struggling with feeling unappreciated.  As I was pouring my heart out to God, I was led to ask a probing question.

Why do I do all of this?

The first answer was really simple:  because if I don’t nobody will.  As I thought deeper about my motives I finally came to the point of realizing I do the grunt work because I love my family and this is my way of showing them.  There still needs to be help on their part.  But each time I fold a shirt for my husband, it is my way of serving him with love.  As I wash and fold towels or dry a dish it is my way of saying,  I love you and value you.

Jesus showed us the true path of love as He chose to wash His disciples feet.  He took the towel.  He wiped away the dirt and grime from their day of travel by foot.  My jobs as a wife and mother have changed little over the years, but my heart attitude has.  Instead of seeing myself as a maid, now I see myself as a steward who chooses daily to pour my love out on my family through a warm meal and a clean home.

Please pray for your own attitude toward the mundane and ordinary things that you must do.  Ask God to help you see it as ministry, not misery.  Pray for other moms that they too would see their home as a place of ministry.

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Matthew 6:33-34

Do you ever feel like a juggler trying to keep all your balls in the air?

There have been many days I have felt just that way trying to keep husband, family, job, church, relationship with God and so many other things going.  My mom used to say, “I meet myself coming and going.”

As an active mom you may feel that way too.

We handle things so long but then something must give or we are going to collapse and drop it all.  I pray, “Lord, please help me balance everything.”  Matthew 6:33 teaches truth that will help us prioritize and balance everything.

Seek God first.

He must be the pedestal you balance everything else on. Take time first thing in the morning to pray and spend time with Him.  Ask Him what you need to make priority today.  Listen and write down the to do list that He gives you.  Learn that you don’t have to do it all.  Learning to say no to good things will allow you to say yes to the best.

He will help you to know how to make your husband and children priority and still carry the other necessities of your life.  When the ball of a job or a project needs to be thrown higher or takes more time than expected, He will give you the strength.  Trust Him to help you and lean on Him.  Without Him life will be chaotic, but with Him you will find balance and the ability to handle what He brings your way.

Ask God if there are areas in your life where you are settling for good and not best. Pray for the moms around you–that they too will be able to rid their schedules and lives of things that are stealing their time and energy, things that do not bring about the best results.

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He draws our heart to someone that He has chosen for us.

He impresses on our heart a desire to meet and know this person.

He brings about a profound change of mind and heart toward this person.

He creates in us a willingness to trust this person with our life and future.

He gives us the desire to ask this person to share a permanent and intimate heart relationship with us.

He empowers us to publicly confess our lifelong vows of exclusive love, fidelity and honor to this person.

He knits our hearts together in love, knowledge and intimacy, so that we are no longer two, but one.

He, day by day, preserves our love relationship, so what God has joined together no man can separate.

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery but I am talking about Christ and the church.” Ephesians 5:31-32

Remember, marriage is for better for worse for keeps.

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Matthew 11:28-30

When I was a child my mom would come to the end of a busy day, put her feet up as she sat on our brown lumpy suede couch and declare, “I am given out.”

In my youthful ignorance I assumed she was saying she was tired and in part she was.  Once I had children I realized what she meant. She was saying, “I have been giving to someone since I woke up this morning, and now there is no longer any energy left in the tank to give to one more person.”

There are five children in my family and mom made sure we had everything we needed and were at the right place on time.  She prepared three home cooked meals daily complete with homemade biscuits, bread and desserts.  She gave to people in the community and church.  She kept our home clean and even vacuumed, swept and mopped almost daily.  Just listing all she got done wearies me.

Though she gave of herself generously all day she learned the secret of filling her tank again.  She went to bed and slept on a regular schedule.  She read her Bible daily and spent time with the Lord. Sunday was reserved for church and an afternoon nap. She fixed healthy meals for our family and tried to get exercise at least 3 or 4 times a week.  She was generous with her time to others but her family was her top priority.  She said yes to one or two service areas at church but said no with a smile when asked to over commit.

If you are feeling given out these days check your list.  Are you spending time daily with the Lord?  Are you getting adequate rest and eating properly?  Are there things you need to let go of so you can say yes to the best things?

Read and remember the passage above from Matthew, then come to God and allow Him to help you give you rest and direct you to the things that are best for you.

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Psalm 127

When Les and I first married we had a neighbor named Betty.  She had three daughters nearing their teenage years.  I would see Betty occasionally walking around her yard saying something out loud.

One day I ventured close enough to hear Mrs. Betty and she was repeating, “children are a blessing, children are a blessing, children are a blessing.” I laughed to myself wondering if she was making a statement of truth or just trying to convince herself.

You may have had some of those same days where you lock the children in a safe environment and you talk yourself down from your exasperation or frustration with the children God has blessed you with. I have often had mothers tell me that grandchildren are the reward for not killing your children.

It is not unusual for moms to think of themselves as a failure because they are not the perfect mom.  Take it from another imperfect mom, you are going to make it.  Pray for each child individually.  Be consistent in discipline, show affection and appreciation, and hold them to high standards based on biblical values.

You are going to make it and they will too.

Children truly are a blessing!

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Deuteronomy 6:4-9

Have you ever noticed that you don’t have to teach your children what you really believe in?  They see it in your actions and in your heart.  In the deep South, football is a way of life.  Children come out of the womb almost saying Roll Tide, War Eagle, or Beat Ole Miss!  Many are brought home from the hospital in team colors and put into cribs with school mascots.   It is no wonder the love of the game and school spirit are handed down from generation to generation.

What would happen if we were as sold out to our relationship with Christ as we are to our athletic teams?

Deuteronomy 6:6 says to keep the love you have for God first in your heart.  It continues on to say your love for Him should be in your conversations, in your walking around and doing business, in your home and it should be evident to those around you even in what you wear.  My mom used to say “the bug man ought to be able to be tell you love the Lord just by walking through your house.”

If we really want to make a difference in our children’s lives, we must love God first.  That love relationship should affect every choice we make and every word that leaves our mouthes.  To truly teach our children, it must come from the heart out.  Then they will see what we really believe and hear the message.

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Matthew 6:25-32

Hello, my name is Page and I am a worrier.

I have never heard of a Worriers Anonymous group, but if there were one, I would be a candidate.   It is hard for me to admit to that worry because I know it is a sin. Since I am confessing, I will go on to admit my greatest anxieties stem from finances or really the lack of finances.

When our oldest son was preparing to graduate from high  school, I remember vividly lying in bed adding up the cost of his first year in college.  I was also in desperate need of a reliable vehicle, and our second son was preparing to get his license and would be added to our insurance.  Taxes were killing us…do I need to add more?

In tears, I tried to figure out how Les and I were going to handle it all.  I wish I could say it was the only time I have been teary with worry, but it is not.  Just as our  Scripture reminds us today, we can’t change anything by worrying.  Worry is like saying to God, “I don’t trust You.  I must figure a way to handle my problems.”

It also may be the very reason you are encountering that trial.  Until we come to the end of ourselves, we will never learn to trust God.  It is now six years past this particular trial.  Our oldest not only graduated from college, he is now in his third year of seminary. Our second son has also graduated from college and is in seminary, and the third son is in college.  We still have no money, but I have a paid-for car, and our fourth child comes on the insurance in the next few days.  The demands are still there, but I am different now.  I am learning to trust.  When those sleepless nights come now, I have learned not to try to fix it but to give it to my Father and trust Him.

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Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.  Romans 12:10 NLT

If you have children at home, an important lesson to teach is how they can outdo one another in showing honor.  By taking advantage of opportunities at home, our children can learn the importance of showing sincere appreciation and admiration to others.

Ask your family members who they really admire and why, focusing on the character qualities or skills this person has. Next, invite this special person over to dinner. Honor your guest, sharing specific attributes and examples that your family admires in them. The motive is to show honor and learn from them. Role play ahead of time, before guests arrive, ways to show honor by sincerely complimenting.

Role model showing honor to your children by showing your teachable heart, giving attention by noticing the strengths of others, and encouraging freedom in complimenting. Include your children in the process of honoring others–it will make a lifelong impact on your children. Creating an environment of showing honor will allow opportunity to discuss the difference between flattery and praise. It will also allow you to warn them of the dangers of false flattery.

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