Tips for Family Devotions Led by Mom

1. Start.  Yeah, sounds kind of silly, but that’s half the battle–getting going.  Decide right now while you’re reading this that you won’t let another day go by waiting for someone else to do it.  Then plan what you’ll do today.

2. Don’t make it hard – make it simple.  If the kids around your table are small, choose a Bible passage that is full of adventure and excitement like the story of Daniel or David before he became king.  If the kids are older, dare to read some passages that pertain to daily life like any chapter in the book of James.

3. Keep it short and to the point, especially to start.  Read a few verses or just one part of a story… keep them longing for more.  Choose a translation that’s easy to read and understand.  If you do just one verse, maybe read it in a few translations to see if there are any differences.  Read it, and then chat about it.  Ask good questions.  (Good questions do not have ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answers.)

4. Have the kids act something out.  If you read a story, assign parts and have them act out while you read.  You might just laugh your head off, but that’s okay.  It’ll teach the kids that devos don’t have to be boring.

5. Make sure each person has a notebook or journal.  If they can’t write, give them one anyway so they can draw.  At either the beginning or end of your time together, have them write down one thing they want prayer for and the date.  Then spend time as a family praying for those things.  Watch over time for answered prayer.

6. Occasionally watch a solid Bible teaching on a DVD or podcast, do small segments of a Bible study series if the kids are old enough, or spend some time together memorizing a few verses (or even a book of the Bible).

7. If you have young kids, sit down and watch a Veggie Tales video with them.  Then bring out your Bible and compare it to the real story.  Ask them what’s different, what’s the same–and which one is true!

8. If you are worn out, sometimes the best thing to do is to turn on some praise and worship music as loud as your speakers will go (without disturbing the neighbors) and have everyone sing along.  Sing hymns and study the words to see which come from Scripture.

9. Do it when it works.  (See Deuteronomy 6.)  When you walk along the road, when you sit down to eat, when you wake up, when you lie down, when you drive in the car, when you cook dinner, when you are hanging out in the family room – whenever and wherever.  A set time is great and also necessary.  But it is not the only time.  If a few days go by and you didn’t get that set time in, not to worry if you are living a life of devotion with your kids.  A true life of devotion to God will bring you back to the joy of meditating on His Word and singing His praise because of your love for Him.

10. Remember that your goal is to help them be more devoted to Jesus.  If that means you tell your testimony and have them share theirs – do it.  It’s not so much about how you do it but that you do.  Show them Jesus in a way that they will love Him through His Word, be sensitive to His Holy Spirit and long for His return with a passion.

Here are a few cautions:

Don’t say to your kids, “Well, from now on I’m going to be doing family devotions ‘cause I’ve waited this long and apparently your dad is not going to.”  No way, José!  Helper, remember?  You are actually doing your job, not your husband’s.

Try not to look like the world just died and you are left to point the way to an impossible Jesus by forcing your children to endure Bible lessons that’ll taste worse than a cabbage and peanut butter sandwich.

Making God look like He gave you the job that nobody wants by saying, “God says I have to do this, so work with me, people” is not going to do anybody any favors.

Family Devotions Led by Mom

Family devotions can be one of the always-wanted-to-do-it-but-never-quite-got-to-it parts of a Christian family’s home life.  Many times mothers carry a pain in their hearts because we’d always hoped our husbands would be the spiritual heads of our homes.  We think that means our husbands should cheerfully lead the family without reminders (hints, kicks under the table, jabs in the ribs or ‘that look’).  We expect that the dark, tall and handsome, strong but silent macho man we married will become preacher extraordinaire, object lesson guru and prayer warrior of all time when it comes to family devotions.

We forget that God gave us to our fabulous man so we could be his conscience – oops, did I really say that?  I mean helper!  We think we need to be his conscience, and that’s why we say things like “Wouldn’t family devotions be a good idea, honey?”  Or maybe we don’t say anything at all but buy a great book entitled Family Devotions Led by Dad and leave it strategically on his bedside table or in the bathroom where he does most of his reading anyway.

Helper… helper… helper… that’s what God said we were to be! “The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”” (Genesis 2:18, NIV)

Helper does not mean nagger, manipulator, director or conscience.  It actually means helper.  Strange, huh?  According to Webster’s Dictionary¹ helper means:  “One who, or that which, helps, aids, assists, or relieves.”  Are you surprised that it actually means to help?

There are a dozen reasons we might not want to be a helper in the area of family devotions, and I’m not likely to know half of them.  However, one of the reasons that we want our husbands to do it is because we don’t want the responsibility.  What if we do it and the kids don’t like it?  What if we do it wrong?  What happens if we do it and they choose not to follow God as adults?  Will we be to blame?

Big questions – probably the same ones dear hubby is asking and part of the reason he doesn’t volunteer for the job.

Not to worry though!  Moms, you can do a great job.  This is your opportunity to be the helper your kids’ dad really needs.  Sure he loves your cooking and maybe the paycheck you bring home, but what a privilege to be his helper in the area of leading your kids to Jesus!

Perhaps the very reason God allowed you to marry the special man in your life is because you were the helper suitable for him in this exact area.  Who knows?

Join me back on Friday–I will be sharing tips on how to start family devotions.

What are some favorite devotionals your family has used?

Father Knows Best

The early 1950’s introduced a television show to the world based on a working father named Jim Anderson, his wife, Margaret, and their three children: Betty, Bud and Kathy. The show gave the typical struggles most family faced during the course of life, but it showed Jim as a man with sensible advice and as a reasonable parent in the home.  Viewers enjoyed watching the interactions of this family because they could relate to the children.  The show created a desire for many to emulate the same atmosphere in their own homes.

Jim Anderson on Father Knows Best may have been the ideal earthly father and one many desired, but our Heavenly Father far outweighs anything Jim ever accomplished.  Jeremiah 29:11 relays to us the deepest love of our Heavenly Father’s desire for us when He says, “I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.” NASB

Despite the valiant effort earthly fathers make to shield their children from the whirlwinds this life deals, they cannot prevent them from coming.  They may stand by their children through them and even strive to carry them through them, but in the end the future and hope from life’s storms come from the Lord. He knows all, sees all, and the power to bring about the best rests in the palm of His loving hands.

As we celebrate Father’s Day this year and reflect on the earthly fathers we’ve been given, may we focus on the truth that our Heavenly Father always keeps our best in mind when we journey through the valleys and mountains of this life.  We may not comprehend His plans for us, but we can know He is trustworthy, loving, and kind in all He does for us.  The final story still remains to be told regarding those moments that make no sense to us but formed the future and hope He had for us.

Mission Field in My Own Backyard

As the last days of school arrived and our children filled the house for another fun summer, I approached the days with mixed emotions. I love the less-structured days and the joy of spending time with my children. But I also wrestled with the feeling of frustration knowing the neighborhood children would spend the days and nights hanging out in our home. For me that meant extra clean-up, more responsibility, feeding what some days feels like 5,000, and having a sweet spirit.

I came to God with a whiney attitude, and He began to adjust it. I was reading Kay Warren’s book Dangerous Surrender where she asked her readers to say yes to God and let God tell you what your mission will be. Kay’s mission was working with people with AIDS. God kept telling me my mission field was in my home.

I went to work with a church in Mexico this year. I just returned from Brazil participating in a medical clinic where we have the opportunity to share our faith. But my greatest mission field is in my own backyard. Literally.

The children in my neighborhood need to see what a godly wife and mom looks like. They need to have a safe place to play and hang out. The first week one young man asked me, “Do you guys really sit down to eat supper?” Just yesterday a friend of one our sons said, “I can’t believe you talk to your parents like this. I could never talk to my parents about who I was dating.”

One of my greatest struggles was the amount of money I spent on soda and snacks. God got my attention once again and asked, “How much are you spending to ‘go and do missions?” Needless to say I quickly changed my heart and bought another package of cookies and store brand sodas. I am willing to spend huge amounts of money to travel abroad because my mind sees that as ‘missions.’ I struggled with seeing how feeding the neighborhood was a part of ministry. I sat down with my husband and talked about how much our mission budget for the summer would be and realized that feeding the multitude is just a part of ministering to them.

Kay Warren asked the reader to identify the needs around them. Then ask God how He wants us to be involved in meeting them. As I looked around, I knew the needs for the children in my neighborhood and I knew God was asking me to be willing to meet them.

How about you? Ask God to reveal to you the needs around you and how He wants you to be involved. You may just be on a seasonal assignment or yours may be more in depth. You may find, like me, that your mission field is closer than you think.

What I was doing serving the kids never changed, but my attitude did. If you are struggling with an attitude, I challenge you to ask God to give you His perspective on it. You may be like me and just need to see it from His perspective.

Raising Next Generation Leaders

You look down into the sparkling eyes of a rambunctious preschooler and think, “You’re going to be a great man or woman one day.” But how do we as parents, grandparents, aunts, or caring friends foster in this young one what it takes to become a leader in the next generation?

We need to begin where Proverbs tells us all wisdom begins. Teach them to fear God (Proverbs 9:19). How do they fear God? Proverbs 8:13 says, “To fear the Lord is to hate evil.” In society today our culture tells us that what is bad or evil is good and what is good or righteous is evil. For our children to succeed they need to base their understanding on what God says is good or right. The only way to know truth is to read and study what God says. Spending time in family devotions or spending time mentoring a young one in the Word will help him or her know God’s Word. Only this will lead to long life and true prosperity.

This generation of children must learn the importance and value of integrity and honesty. We must model these values but also teach our children by holding them accountable. For example, my children knew that to disobey would incur discipline, but to disobey and lie would double the disciplinary action. The Bible is very clear that God despises dishonest lips. Our world teaches the contrary. The world says just don’t get caught. We must instill in our future leaders the understanding that God knows everything and we ultimately answer to Him. Great leaders are men and women of integrity.

Leaders must also learn the power of the tongue for good and evil. The Bible speaks often of how perverse speech, filthy language, gossip, slander, and even arrogance are all a part of the sin nature and will ultimately bring ruin into our lives. God tells us to get rid of these things. With our tongue we can encourage, speak truth, uplift, build up, and share the gospel. Speaking truth may not always be pleasant, but God blesses the one who speaks it. Next generation leaders must choose good over evil each time they open their mouths. We, as their mentors, must model good speech as well as hold them accountable and affirm them when they choose well.

Great leaders are hard workers. They need to learn that servant leaders earn respect. Jesus set the example by not just telling His disciples what to do, but by showing them. Just as Jesus led by example, so should we. Don’t just tell your next generation leader what to do, show her. Allow her to shadow you as you work and play. You may be further along in your career now, but tell her how you got started. Remind her that hard work is required. Proverbs speaks often of the rewards of hard work. In a society that expects something for nothing, we must instill in our children that laziness leads to failure, but hard work has its own rewards.

We can teach our children all of these things, but we must start early and repeat them often by our actions, attitudes, and words. Look down into those eyes once more, it won’t take long and they will be looking eye to eye at you. When they do, I pray you will be gazing into the eyes of a great leader.

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Family Game Nights

My family enjoys our regular family game nights. We try to set aside one night a week to sit around the table together, laughing and making memories. Sometimes we let our kids choose the games, and other nights it is parents’ choice. We all look forward to these nights together, and each one yields different fruit.

One particular game we like is Apples to Apples. In this game, everyone tries to choose a red noun card from their hand that goes best with the green adjective card played by the judge. In our family, Dad always serves as the judge, because his keen sense of humor keeps everyone laughing and guessing which word association will make the most sense to him.

We use games for educational purposes too. We might play a game of ‘horse’ with spelling words. Bible baseball is one of our favorites. Sometimes we play a seated version with runs being scored as points. Other times, we take the game outside and let our kids actually hit the ball every time they recite a scripture memory verse or correctly answer a Bible knowledge question. If our 3-year-old son gets his questions right, it is an automatic home run for the team. Phonics bingo is often played with chocolate chips, and everyone feels like a winner after the game when they get to eat their markers! We keep strategy games like chess and checkers sitting out on a small game table and play almost daily whenever we have 15 minutes to spare.

Our newest family game is Settlers of Canaan. This strategy game is simple enough for our 5 year-old to grasp but strategic enough for my husband to love. Now that’s a perfect game! We have been known to increase game night to two or three times a week in order to fit in more of this beloved game.

Tips for incorporating games into your family’s life:

* On game night, spread the dinner table with a tablecloth and use paper plates. Serve a simple meal like soup and salad or pizza. The dinner mess can be quickly whisked away to make room for the game.

* If you have the space, dedicate an old table just for games. We keep a table in our basement for longer-term games like Risk. The game can be left out indefinitely until it is finished.

* Keep all your games together so you can always find them. I store mine on the top shelf of our coat closet.

* Whenever I find game pieces on the floor, I put them in a drawer for lost toys. I regularly have the kids empty the drawer and return all lost pieces to the appropriate games.

* Keep decks of cards and quick games like checkers or Dutch Blitz close at hand to pull out whenever you have a few spare moments.

* Get some inexpensive sporting equipment. On warm nights we take our gaming outside and play flag football, wiffle ball, or basketball.

* Keep extra dice, cards, game boards, and playing pieces handy for little ones. Our 3-year-old often rolls dice and plays with his own cards alongside the rest of the family when he is too young to join in that night’s game.

* Mix it up. Choose competitive games to teach sportsmanship and cooperative games for team building. Play card games, board games, and athletic games. One week try a word game like Guesstures, then a trivia game the next week and a strategy game the week after that. This gives each person’s different gifts a chance to shine.

Apples to Apples, Bible Edition GameBy Cactus Game Design Expand your “core” knowledge of Christian history with this hilarious, award-winning game! Apples to Apples ® Bible Edition brings the award winning card and party game, Apples to Apples®, to the Christian community. Players will delight in the clever comparisons while expanding their knowledge of the Bible. Comparing people, places, things, and events, players match their cards with the judge’s. The closest match wins the round. But you’ve got to be fast, because if your card is the last one on the table, you lose! Inside you’ll find 432 Red Apple cards, 144 Green Apple cards, 2 card trays and quick play rules. Games are fast–about 20 to 30 minutes per game, and it’s an easy game to learn. Recommended for 4 to 10 players, ages 9 and up.

Dutch Blitz GameBy Dutch Blitz Games Company Developed in Pennsylvania Dutch country, Dutch Blitz is a card game that’s exciting to play and easy to learn! Perfect for family game nights, or to play with a group of good friends, you’ll enjoy spirited competition as you try to get rid of your 10-card Blitz pile before anybody else. Not as easy as it sounds though, because players don’t take turns! You have to be the fastest to place your cards in sequence and in the same respective colors on the center Dutch piles while using as many cards from your Blitz Pile as possible. When your Blitz Pile has been exhausted, you’ve won! The game includes four decks of four colorful playing cards and easy-to-follow instructions. Two to four players can play this fast-moving game. Recommended for ages 8 and up.

The Settlers of Canaan Board GameBy Mayfair Games, Inc. An official adaptation of Settlers of Catan, this Old Testament version has players becoming tribes of Israel (Issachar, Asher, Naphtali, Zebulun) and settling the land of Canaan from the time of Joshua through the crowning of King David. Slightly different than the original game, this version features a fixed playing board with land tiles and numerical disks printed on the board; the robber becomes “the plague”; and players must win 12 victory points through the traditional routes of trading, building and development or complete the “Wall of Jerusalem.” 2-4 players; ages 10 & up.

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Just Words

They’re only words.

This statement from my seventeen-year-old son, and the agreement of my fourteen-year-old daughter are what lit a fire under me with regard to the use of  certain four letter words.

I wondered how we got to this place of complacency and acceptance, a place where you cannot listen to the radio without a barrage of obscenities, where network television shows are more profane than the movies I watched as a teenager.  Even going to McDonald’s or Wal-Mart  is now taking a chance of walking into a minefield of expletives. Who has convinced us that just because you have the ability to say something, this means you should?

My husband and I have tried to raise our children in the ways of  the Lord. We have tried to teach them to love God, show respect to themselves and others and be obedient to those in authority.  We don’t use those words in our home.  There was a time when  the word shut-up caused them to say  “Mom, they said a bad word”.   Is it any wonder that I question how we got from there to here?  I could blame the media and have because they are an easy target.  However, I have begun to recognize the actual culprit–the old devil himself.  Our battles are always with Satan, the prince of the air, and the father of lies.  He has us completely deluded.  Those of us who believe God views such language as sin have sat idly on our moral high ground and said very little to nothing when we are taken aback or offended by the use of foul language.  We go to the movies, we watch the TV programs, we read the books, we frequent the places where those words are spoken.  Money talks and ours tells those in film and print we are okay with what they are doing.

As prince of the air, I believe, Satan has used the airwaves to his advantage. He has never had better access to us via the air than now.  He whispers to us, “It’s acceptable now even though it was not in the past. Everybody says it. The Bible doesn’t really say anything about cussing.” The last one just happens to be the same lie he used on Eve, “Did God really say that?” he questioned her.  It worked for him before and works for him even now.  Jesus tells us in John 8:44 that when Satan speaks lies “it is according to his own nature, because he is a liar and the father of lies.”

The Bible speaks very clearly as to God’s view of our speech.  As his children, we are to refrain from speaking evil (Psalm 34:13). We are not to speak unwholesomely (Eph 4:29). We should consider our words and they should be gracious and seasoned with salt. They should be wise and not foolish.  Take a look at Proverbs; the book is full of information on both the good and bad ways words can be used.  There is no doubt language is relevant in our spiritual lives.  Jesus was very clear in Matthew chapter twelve our words matter and they matter eternally.

For the mouth speaks from what fills the heart.  The good person brings good things out of his good treasury, and the evil person brings evil things out of his evil treasury. I tell you that on the day of judgment, people will give an account for every worthless word they speak. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned. (Matthew 12:34-37)

Am I still offended when such language assaults my ears?  Absolutely, I am.  But knowing the enemy and that the battle is being waged both here and in the heavenlies gives me a new battle plan.  Rather than lecture the kids as I seek to convince them that the words we use matter to God, I will pray that the Holy Spirit will convict and convince them of the truth of  THE WORD.

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Tracey Cagle

Love Lessons from the Family Pet

“Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other, let us show the truth by our actions.”  I John 3: 18 NLT

Even after graduating from college, I still had much to learn.  Thankfully, I also had a willing teacher: our family cat, Thor.

(Thor 1993-2009)

We learn the great lessons of life in many ways.  When animals teach, they come straight to the point.  Thor taught by example.  Here’s what I learned about showing and expressing love:

* Spend lots of time together…you don’t always need a stimulating conversation or activity.  Quiet time together is a good thing.

* When those you love feel bad, show them how much you care.  Be near their side.

* Make eye contact.  Your emotions are revealed when you look at the one you love.

* Be a good listener.  Sometimes you need only listen.

* Show your loyalty and faithfulness at every opportunity.  These are gifts money cannot buy.

*Forgive.

* Be thankful for the companionship of one another….even if they’re not like you.

The love lessons I’ve learned apply perfectly to people and animals alike.  Be a student of love.  You’ll be surprised at what you can learn…even from the family pet!

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The Gift of Getting Along: A Godly Trait

Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!
Psalm 133:1

Raising godly children can be a daunting task. Do I start by fixing, teaching, guiding, reprimanding or just loving?  And in the midst of training, can we have fun and honor the Lord?  Some days I’m almost not sure where to begin.  There are even times when I’m not the one who gets things started; my kids do!

Two of my children recently gave me a chuckle about the gift of getting along and having fun together.  It’s good to see two siblings sharing laughter.  Let me show you what they taught me about practicing the piano, all in fun, of course.  We like to call it:

How to Practice Piano in Six Easy-to-Follow Steps

Step One

Sit with good posture and practice the pieces your teacher gave you for the week.

Step Two

Smile when your brother sits beside you and invite him to a duet.

Step Three

If he begins to take over the piece, gently slide (no pushing please) him over and place your arm over the notes he shouldn’t be playing.

Step Four

If this technique fails, sweetly place your arm on him and explain to him that you are a budding pianist and would like to continue your devotion to music.  He’ll begin to understand that you are under time constraints and that you must take your music seriously.

Step Five

Don’t be surprised if your brother is overcome with joy and decides to hug you.  He isn’t trying to slow you down in your endeavors, he is simply expressing his deep-felt emotion.

Step Six

If you’ve truly impressed him, your brother will even give you pats on the back(side).

You’ll  never know what music does to people until you begin to play an instrument.

It really does soothe the savage beast…..as illustrated above.

Remember to have fun while teaching godly traits, whether you’re the teacher or the student!  Working and playing together in unity is a gift and seeing the joy in the moment is priceless.  Your children will be deeply blessed and God will be honored.

Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!

It is like the precious ointment upon the head, that ran down upon the beard, even Aaron’s beard: that went down to the skirts of his garments; As the dew of Hermon, and as the dew that descended upon the mountains of Zion: for there the LORD commanded the blessing, even life for evermore.
Psalm  133: 1-3

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Teaching Teens to Handle Money

Do you find yourself saying these words:

Do you think money grows on trees?

or

What do you think I’m made of, money?

When my kids hit middle-school age I felt like I was constantly shelling out money for the movies, Chick-fil-A, youth group activities, and new clothes. I wanted my kids to have all of this but what yanked my chain was they did not seem to appreciate the value of money.

Chuck and I came up with a plan that taught a great life lesson to our children. We figured out how much money we spent on them over a twelve-month period. This included clothes, fun money, and summer camp. We then divided the amount by twelve and came up with their weekly allowance.

We sat down with the kids and explained the value of budgeting, tithing, generous giving, and saving. We even took it a step further and presented it in typed form and had them sign it.

My boys still enjoy wearing only designer clothes, but they bid for them on e-bay or watch for sales. They don’t mind drinking water and using coupons when they go out to eat with their buddies or on a date.

I knew Wesley understood the value of a dollar when one evening after the movies he and his friends stopped to buy ice cream at Marble Slab. Wes was shocked at the price and convinced his friends that he had a much cheaper plan. They bought a gallon of ice cream from Wal-Mart and a package of plastic spoons for the price of two double dipped cones. Wesley’s innovative idea is now a tradition after the movies.

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