Redefining Marriage

A vocal minority is seeking to redefine marriage in the United States. As Christians, we believe that marriage is meant to be between one man and one woman….but do we know why? Let our thinking be informed by Ephesians 5:31-32, which says, “’For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.”

Our culture is confused about the purpose of marriage, and this gives rise to the current controversy. Marriage’s primary purpose is not for our edification, sanctification or pleasure. Nor is procreation the ultimate goal. These are, of course, vital parts of a biblical marriage. But Paul tells us here that marriage is even more than this. It is no less than a representation of the relationship between Christ and His church, and a witness to the beauty of the Gospel.

Marriage must reflect the union of Christ and His church accurately. Polygamy communicates that Christ can have more than one bride. Adultery indicates that Christ and His bride are not required to be faithful to one another. Divorce insinuates that Christ’s covenant with His bride can be broken. Premarital sex suggests that Christ can be intimate with His bride without making any kind of lasting commitment to her. And homosexuality implies that there can be two brides or two husbands. Every perversion of marriage is an affront to God, as it presents false testimony about Christ.

Christ laid down his life to redeem His bride, and they have become one flesh. He loves, leads, and purifies her, and she submits to Him willingly.

The world is watching. We need to be repenting every day of the sin within our own marriages, which veils this glorious Gospel. The church needs to stand for the sanctity of a creation ordinance which is about more than mere freedom of choice or personal preference.

John the Baptist was killed for defending biblical marriage. Are we willing to take a stand?

For a more in-depth presentation on this crucial topic, I highly recommend Jordan Lawrence’s podcast The Battle for Biblical Marriage, which can be downloaded at Blue Behemoth.com.

Your First Mission Field

“How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, ‘How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!’” ~ Romans 10:14, 15 NIV

When I was a child my parents always led us in family devotions. We would read a Scripture and pray before bedtime. One night my mom was reading the Scripture and it dawned on me that if I were to die I would spend eternity separated from God.

I knew I had done wrong things and had not asked God to forgive me and come into my heart. As I thought about how my family would be in heaven and I would not, my eyes filled with tears. Mom asked what was wrong. I told her what I was thinking. In a matter of fact way she asked, ”Well, would you like to ask God to forgive you and come into your heart?” I answered with a tear-filled yes. We prayed sitting on my bed and my eternity was changed forever. That was not the first night we had done family devotions. We had devotion time all of my life, but that night my heart was ready. That night I had a realization of my sin and the consequences of it.

You may be like my parents and have participated in nightly family devotion time. If so, keep on. If not, now is a great time to start. It is not too late. Your children are your first mission field. You can start simply with a children’s Bible story book. As your children get older, start reading from the Bible. There are many devotion books for families at your local Christian bookstore. No matter what you choose to use, start now.

Please pray for moms and dads today.  Pray that they will draw close to the Lord and will have confidence in leading their children to know Christ.

 

From Here to Maternity

Do you ever hear an expression that reminds you of something your mother used to say? Do you find yourself using the same expressions—even the ones you swore you wouldn’t—with your own children? A mother’s words, whether because of wisdom or mere repetition, can become set in concrete in our minds.

Mothers have an adage for every occasion. Meeting strangers: “Don’t talk to them or take anything from them.” Meals: “Eat everything on your plate. There are starving children in China.” Accidents: “Don’t do that. You’ll break your neck.” (My neck was apparently in danger many times.) And just in case: “Always wear clean underwear with no holes in case you’re in an accident.”

Then there was her seasonal advice. Would I really catch pneumonia if I didn’t take a sweater in the fall or went out in the winter with wet hair? I don’t know what would have happened if I wore white shoes before Easter or after Labor Day. I grew up being warned against such folly and so far have avoided it.

See if any of these motherly expressions bring back memories:

“Don’t ask why. Because I said so.”

“A little hard work never hurt anyone.”

“Pretty is as pretty does.”

“If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.”

“I’m doing this for your own good. Someday you’ll thank me.”

Motherly advice is nothing new. It has been going on since Eve, who probably warned her children of the danger of talking to snakes. In the Book of Proverbs, Solomon tells us that his mother gave him advice: “The sayings of King Lemuel—an oracle his mother taught him” (Prov. 31:1 NIV).  Since there was no “King Lemuel” in Israel’s history, most Bible scholars assume this was what Solomon’s mother called him. (Mother’s nicknames—a whole ’nother category.)

What did Solomon’s mother tell him? She warned him against wild women and alcohol and urged him to be a kind-hearted ruler (31:2-9). History records that advice—like that of many other mothers—was mostly ignored.

Whether personally heeded or not, the proverbs Solomon collected that were included in the Bible abound with motherly (and Heavenly Father) concern and wisdom. Here are a few that Solomon may have heard while growing up around the palace:

“My son, if sinners entice you, do not give in to them” (Prov. 1:10).

“Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise!” (6:6).

“Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall” (16:28).

“Cast but a glance at riches, and they are gone, for they will surely sprout wings and fly off to the sky like an eagle” (23:5).

“Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue” (17:28).

“The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother” (29:15).

In other words, Solomon’s mother (like you and I) probably said to her offspring:  “Someday you’ll thank me for this.”

©copyright 2012 by Vicki Huffman

Vicki Huffman is the author of two Christian non-fiction books and one Christian-based novel which are available in various forms through the author (email Mentoring Moments) or amazon.com. To read the first chapter of her novel A Secret Hope at no cost, follow here.

 

 

Book Review: The Way They Learn

Most have heard and / or read Cynthia Ulrich Tobias’ book, The Way They Learn: How to discover and teach to your child’s strengths. I have been a late comer to the party, allowing this gem of a book to sit on my bookshelf for several years.

As a Focus on the Family book published by Tyndale House, I knew it would be good. Timing is everything and the time arrived last fall. Four children, four different learning styles, two of which include learning disabilities, this Momma needed insight.

Tobias delves into the variety of learning styles and helps parents and teachers discover consistent patterns. I appreciate her ability to highlight the myriad of styles and maintain the beauty of each. No style is a right or wrong style although most public school settings are better suited to one style over others. We are all created marvelously different. How one child learns and processes information is different from the next, but not wrong.

Not only was I able to see patterns in the learning styles of my children, but I recognized my own. This was an eye-opener as I realized why I do certain things the way I do. Maybe I’m not so crazy after all–and it explains some of my grades in high school too! The book also helped to explain the difficulty I was having teaching one child. It seems our learning styles are opposite, meaning the way I teach is not the way this child needs to learn. Adapting my teaching style to meet the needs of my children has benefited each of us. As Tobias says, “Learning how to recognize and appreciate learning styles can help you identify the natural strengths and tendencies each individual possesses.”

If you are struggling to figure out the learning style of a child and how to help them succeed on their educational journey, The Way They Learn is a marvelous starting point. Along the way you may learn a few things about yourself too.

 

We may be drawing to the end of a school year, but it is not too late to understand our children and our students. Did you know MMCW has an education section on our blog? Look for more upcoming educational posts over the summer.

Do you have suggestions regarding books dealing with the learning process?

The Way They LearnBy Cynthia Ulrich Tobias / Tyndale House Learning styles expert Cynthia Tobias gives parents a better understanding of the types of learning approaches that will help their children do better in school. Once these approaches are understood, any parent or teacher can become more effective in helping any child grasp confusing concepts, stay interested in lessons and utilize his or her greatest strengths. Focus on the Family Recommendation.

 

 

 

Is it a Sin to Have a Large Family, Part II

Only since 1970 and the publishing of Paul Erlich’s secular book, The Population Bomb (he studied insects for a living), has the notion that having more than two children was a mortal sin against the planet become part of the modern psyche.

There is no population crisis in Western industrialized nations.  In fact, quite the opposite.  Instead, the crisis we face today is the polar opposite of what the strident environmentalists warned us about in the heyday of mood lamps, LSD, and Bob Dylan.

The alarming reality is the birth rates in all of Western Europe, Japan, Russia, and even China are in serious decline. These nations are not only failing to replace their current population but their very future existence is in doubt. In some cases they are losing people at a current popular rate of decline of 20% or more.

Responsible economists are predicting that if this population rate of decline is not reversed, it’s only a matter of decades until their economies collapse from lack of workers and a dearth of spending consumers. It might be of interest to note the Scriptures speak to such a foreboding dilemma, “A large population is a king’s glory, but without subjects a prince is ruined” Proverbs 14:28.

The United States is only sustaining its current population due to the large influx of immigrants who are having large families. Otherwise, we would be in the same sinking ship as Western Europe, Russia, or other nations, which are actually paying families to have more children.

But are we overrunning the planet? We had someone from the funeral industry once explain that if you buried all the earth’s population right next to each other it would fill up a space the size of Rhode Island and perhaps Connecticut. So if there is not a genuine overpopulation crisis at work today in our society (just the opposite is actually true), why the renewed calls for one or two children families?

We believe the current birth dearth is more a philosophical or theological crisis than an ecological or economic one. As we have turned away from the Judeo-Christian ethic to a secular and agnostic belief system, we have in the Western cultures at the same time lost faith in our purpose, meaning, and destiny as a society. If we really have no reason to exist other than to serve ourselves and our narcissistic ambitions, why have kids at all?

The false gods of materialism, hedonism, and even the worship of nature (what Francis Schaeffer called the idols of “personal peace and affluence”) have left us so empty and drifting that we have no reason to reproduce another generation. Saving the whales has become more important to us than saving our way of life or saving souls. After all, the little crying creatures can be costly, an irritating interruption, and a real nuisance if pursuing your personal space and higher standard of living are your only real goals in life.

Let us say it clearly — the threat of having too many children is not America’s looming crisis, rather it’s having too little reason to live and to create another generation that is the real problem.

Just 100 years ago, Americans faced far more disease, lack of medical resources, and harsh standards of living than we do, yet they chose to have large families. Was it simply to make sure a few kids survived or because they lacked access to contraception? Perhaps in some cases, but the primary reason was they believed in the promise of America, the joy of family, and in a faith that said God would take care of them. The result was the most prosperous, industrious, creative, forward-looking and blessed society that our world has ever seen.

Our six precious children (and our son-in-law, daughter-in-law, and grandson), are all gifts from God, and they will tell you they are glad their highly educated mother (Master’s degree) stayed home to raise them. Furthermore they will admit she did not waste her education in doing so. Instead of squandering her hard-earned resources she invested them in the next generation by providing a secure and loving environment for our children.

Twenty-five years ago when we discovered we were pregnant with our fourth child (we have six altogether), a very concerned and sincere nurse at the clinic asked us, “Are you two part of some cult?”

“No,” we answered, “We’re just making sure there is someone to pay your Social Security when you retire.”

There was more truth in our answer than we knew at the time.

For more information about the population crisis, Mentoring Moments recommends the fascinating yet chilling video Demographic Winter.

If you are viewing this post in an email and can’t see the video, you can click the linked title to view it on You Tube.

Bob & Cheryl Moeller

 

Is it a Sin to Have a Large Family?

There is much controversy these days, even among Christians, over the number of children that a married couple should have. The argument, so it goes, is that a large number of children are bad for the environment, will use an inordinate amount of the world’s resources, will leave of all things (heaven forbid) a larger carbon footprint. Oh, by the way it will also possibly cause the wife to waste her education or possibly miss having a real career.

The implications are clear: to have a large family is irresponsible, selfish and poor stewardship of our planet (and a woman’s life).

As with any idea or proposition that believers must wrestle with in life the ultimate question should always remain: what do the Scriptures say? As believers in Christ, the ultimate issue is what authority shall we live by? For Christians, the answer of ultimate authority is simple and straightforward, “As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the Lord is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him” Psalm 18:30.

So what do the Scriptures say about the size of one’s family?

In Genesis God gives this command to the first married couple, “God blessed them and said to them, ‘Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it’” (Genesis 1:28). God repeats this same command to Noah and his children as they emerge from the ark, “As for you, be fruitful and increase in number; multiply on the earth and increase upon it” (Genesis 9:2).

Later in the Scripture the psalmist exalts a large family as a sure sign of the blessing of God, “Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them” (Psalm 147:4-5). It may be of interest to note that the quiver of a solider in that day traditionally held five arrows.

While there are numerous more Old Testament passages that exalt a large number of children as a sign of God’s blessing, in the New Testament we also find evidence of the same.

For example, we are told the family of Jesus was quite large by today’s standards. While Jesus was conceived of the Holy Spirit and born to Mary, Jesus had a large number of brothers and sisters, “Isn’t this the carpenter’s son? Isn’t his mother’s name Mary, and aren’t his brothers James, Joseph, Simon and Judas? Aren’t all his sisters with us?” (Matthew 13:54-56). Even by a conservative estimate there were seven children in the family of Jesus.

What was Jesus’ attitude toward children? “But Jesus called the children to him and said, ‘Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these’” Luke 18:6.

We would simply make the point the Scriptures by both teaching and example consistently portray children, even a large number of children, as a blessing and not a curse upon families and the earth. “Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him” Psalm 127:3.

While each couple must come to their own conviction as to the size of their family before God, it is important that we not condemn as irresponsible or unbiblical the desire of a family to raise a large number of children. John and Charles Wesley, two of the greatest figures in modern church history, came from a family of 17 children born to an Anglican pastor. In our family, Bob’s grandfather was one of 13 children and his mother was born to a family of seven. Cheryl’s father was raised with seven other brothers and sisters, and her mother was raised in a family of five children.

Tomorrow we will discuss the truth concerning overpopulation and the alarming reality.

Bob & Cheryl Moeller

 

 

The Birds and the Bees

It’s Spring Break in Memphis. Today my wife Lynn took our daughter Holly (11) away on a mother-daughter retreat. They’ll stay a couple of days at a friend’s lakehouse. Holly is our middle child of five so her older sister and brother have gone on this same retreat with Mom and Dad, respectively. It comes with turning 11 in the Huffman household.

The retreat reinforces a discussion we begin with each of our children when they turn 9 years of age (we have two boys and three girls—two retreats for me and three for Lynn). It’s the sex discussion. Lynn and I together have “the talk” with each child at age 9. Then at age 11, the one taking the child on the retreat goes through Family Life’s “Passport to Purity” curriculum with him/her.

That material is broken into a handful of sessions. Each session includes listening to a recorded talk by Dennis or Barbara Rainey addressing everything from pubic hair to the reason why boys shouldn’t pop girls’ bra straps at school. The child, sometimes giggling but also listening intently, takes his/her notes in a provided notebook. Afterwards the parent and child discuss what they heard, the parent adds his/her insights and experiences, and at the end of the retreat we give the child a ceremonial gift to remember the time by. We also try to do something fun too. My oldest son Caleb and I had our retreat in Branson, Missouri, and took in some of the sights there.

It’s on this retreat that we begin talking more specifically about what dating will look like and how he/she needs to prepare for navigating a highly eroticized Western society. The eroticization of our society is one reason why we have “the talk” with our children at 9 years old. By that age, third grade, they’ve already heard things about sex from media and from peers at school (oh yes, at Christian school too!).

What helped Lynn and me overcome our nervous reticence to talk to our kids about sex was realizing we were engaging them in a healthy conversation about themselves. There is no one better suited to do this than the parent. We are each one of us sexual beings and to try to deny or hide this from our kids does them no service. That some will never express themselves sexually (see Matt. 19:12; 1 Cor. 7:25-28) is something to be respected, not ridiculed or otherwise viewed as odd. That’s a cultural view of sex—that those who never have sex are somehow not fully alive—opposed to a Christian view.

Kids mature at differing rates and intensities, of course, but we don’t think the age of 9 is too early in today’s cultural climate for a kid to learn facts about sex. We also don’t think we should hold anything back from them when we begin the discussion. That is we tell our children why they have gender and we tell them of God’s design and purposes for sexuality and sexual expression—the stuff of Genesis 1 and 2. But we also tell them candidly how people abuse and spoil God’s good design through sex outside of marriage, pornography, and homosexuality—the consequences of the fall, Genesis 3. We’d rather they hear about sexual aberration from us first because we’ll rightly inform them and contextualize it, whereas media and peers will not. We’re also emboldened to tell them of those realities because the Bible doesn’t hide sexual malpractice from its readers.

Part of the talk at age 9 includes an affirmation of their responsibility to confidentiality. We call them to maturely steward the knowledge we give them, telling them that they know what they know now to neither impress nor inform their friends. Caleb learned the social cost of this the hard way soon after his retreat at age 11 with me. A couple of neighbor boys were having a misinformed conversation about homosexual acts as they shot basketball in a driveway. They weren’t being curious but pejorative. Knowing he knew better what they were talking about, Caleb corrected their nonfactual ideas. They in turn promptly told their parents “what Caleb said,” and the parents informed me that Caleb was banned from socializing with their boys for a time.

I remember the phone conversation with the father of one of the boys. He said to me, with evident surprise in his voice, “Turns out what Caleb said is true, but I still don’t want [his son’s name] knowing about it.” I resisted the urge to respond tartly with, “Your boy initiated the discussion, pal—he’s already talking about it!” and instead tried to make it a teaching moment. But he was even more surprised to learn Caleb knew what he knew because Lynn and I told him about it. I think he would have right then nominated me for Reckless Parent of the Year.

Nonetheless, I think for our oldest three kids it has been better for them to know the facts of life earlier as opposed to later. Yes, you feel as a parent you’re imposing on their innocence some when you begin the discussion. But there is a difference between preserving innocence and perpetuating sentimentality. Our kids do grow up and we need to help them navigate a clouded culture concerning sex and sexuality. They need to know how to fly by the instrument panel when they can’t see the horizon.

Knowing what they know when they know it has made my kids less boy/girl-crazy. We find the kids fitting that description to often be those who’ve had their ideas and attitudes toward sex shaped predominately by media and peers, not their parents. Our kids confirm this is so as we ask about their peers. We think parents in the church are not so much chickens as ostriches about this: too many have their heads in the sand hoping puberty might go away or never arrive.

Knowing what they know when they know it has also removed some of the mystique of the opposite sex and the naivety that allows for “curiosity that kills the cat.” Our kids are still kids, red-blooded and interested in the opposite sex. We’ve told them this is good and for this we’re glad. We’ll allow them to date within intentional parameters, and we pray for their future spouses now as much as we pray for them (assuming they’ll marry). And we know our kids can still make mistakes in days to come with boyfriends and girlfriends. Imparting wisdom does not ensure against every weakness of the flesh.

But we’d rather impart and invest. So somewhere on a lakeside dock in north Alabama, the birds chirping and the bees buzzing here at the cusp of spring, Lynn is telling Holly about some things she knows and some things she doesn’t. And I’m trying to figure out what to serve her brothers and sisters for dinner tonight in Mama’s absence. Don’t worry, it won’t be Hooters.

Cole Huffman is Senior Pastor of First Evangelical Church in Memphis, Tennessee. He and his wife Lynn have five children—and one dog who thinks he’s a kid. Cole’s messages can be listened to on the church website: www.firstevan.org and he blogs at Where is the Fourth?

 

Raising Teens: Resisting the Urge to Badger

 Dad’s disgust showed on his face before his words even emerged. “I can’t believe you smell of cigarettes again.”

“Really? You can still smell it?” Justin lifts his shirt to his nose to sniff it.

“Yeah, me and probably half the folks in church tonight.”

“Huh.” Justin shrugs. “I’m surprised. I haven’t smoked since Thursday. Been trying to quit. Oh well.”

“Don’t you realize you’re polluting your body with poison every time you inhale?” He raises both hands in exasperation and finds himself saying for the 835^th time, “Don’t you know your body is a temple of the Lord?”

Suddenly Justin’s head tilts to the side. His face grows serious. His eyes grow wide as the realization of what his father said sinks in. “You mean…I…I am a temple? Really?”

The light in the dimly lit kitchen begins to brighten. Amazing Grace begins to play in the background. Justin’s mother enters the doorway and smiles as she sees what his father said begin to sink in. “Why Dad…I get it now! I shouldn’t smoke! I shouldn’t harm my own body…my…temple.  Why I can see it so clearly now. I’ve…been…bad.”

<music beomes louder and all in the room begin to cry in joy>

This scenario has never and will never play itself out anywhere but in fiction. And yet there we often are, just like this father, saying the same thing over and over again.  If we know that saying the same things, even true things, over and over again is never going to produce the desired result, why do we continue to do it? The truth is we have crossed over from advising to badgering. In advising mode, we are sharing a new idea with someone who might find the information helpful. But in badgering, we are simply repeating our views ad nauseum to make sure the listener hasn’t forgotten how much we disapprove. Advising is a caring act. Badgering is an assault. We are throwing our repeated words at them yet again because we are annoyed that we have shared our learned and wise thoughts with them, and they have simply rejected them and, in essence, us.

Sharing a basic truth often is sufficient to obtain change in others. Most people want to alter their choices in light of new and true information. But when it is not sufficient, when a truth that should propel a person toward change does nothing, then we must own the fact that something else is at work here. It would be far better to spend our energies trying to find out what that “something else” is.

Your children may not have the slightest clue why they are doing what they are doing. The mix of things constantly rolling through their heads may be almost impossible for them to make sense of. Repeating instructions over and over is simply adding to the noise.

So what should you do?

Change the dance. Bring some calm. Speak the truth. They already know how you feel about smoking or drugs or premarital sex. So acknowledge that. Try instead, “Well, you already know how I feel about such things. I’m sure that repeating it would only annoy you. But I’ll always love you. You will always be my son.”

Several good things happen with those statements.

1. It takes the pressure off this kid to produce a clear answer for a very unclear behavior. If he doesn’t yet know why he’s making these self-destructive choices, it will only bring frustration (or lies) when he tries to give you a reason from his confused thinking.
2. It makes clear that there is always a path back home. Even when what he does makes no sense, his Dad loves him. (gee…does that sound familiar?) He can hold firmly to that truth, so that when the day finally comes in which the fruit of his bad decisions becomes apparent, he’ll see a way back home.
3. It removes a bad energy from the process. When much of their energy has to be spent justifying themselves to you, it’s like an unruly dog that is constantly straining against the leash of its owner. They can only think about the powers holding them back. They haven’t yet begun to think about just what would happen if they rushed headlong into the places they are trying to go.

This straining against the “leash” comes to define them. It also becomes their excuse for their behaviors. “If my parents would just get off my back…”  By stopping the badgering, you are now officially “off [their] back.” When you release the leash, they realize that where they are is due to their decisions. The energy that they’ve spent battling your words of judgment is now freed up to do something more positive.

It also makes something clear to them. They are free to go wherever they want. Life will now be good, they muse. But of course, the bad things in their life that they’ve believed were due to your over-direction are somehow still around. Turns out it’s not because you’ve been “on [their] backs.”  If that were true, then life should be so much better now. Yet somehow, life is still difficult. And once they realize this, they will be better able to start the process of focusing on the true causes of their life’s situation.

Change the dance. Bring calm. Speak the truth.

 Carol Barnier is a popular Christian conference speaker. She is the author of four books, including Engaging Today’s Prodigal, dozens of articles, and a frequent radio guest. Her objective is to have the wit of Erma Bombeck crossed with the depth of C.S. Lewis, but admits that on most days, she only achieves a solid Lucy Ricardo with a bit of Bob the Tomato.  Follow her blog at Carolbarnier.com or her free on-line community for parents with highly distractible kids, www.SizzleBop.com.

How to Be a Good Mother In Law

Do you want to be a wonderful mother-in-law?  This summer two of our sons will get married and I have been asking God to show me how to become a great mother-in-law to my two new daughters.

God brought me to Exodus 18 during my Bible study. It is a passage that describes a time when Moses’ father-in-law Jethro came to visit Moses. Jethro took time to hear all that had been happening in Moses’ life. (verse Then he rejoiced with Moses over all that had been happening and they worshipped (verse 9).  Jethro took time to observe what was happening in Moses’ daily life and asked pertinent questions to understand why Moses was investing his time judging the people “from morning until evening”  (verse 14).  After listening, observing, and asking pertinent questions to try to understand what was going on from his son-in-law’s perspective Jethro offered suggestions of specific ways Moses could use his time more wisely.

Verse 27 says “Moses said farewell and his father-in-law went his way into his own land.”  What a great reminder that giving wise counsel is necessary, but so is returning home and allowing the son or daughter-in-law to make the decisions they need to make.

Jethro is a great example that an in-law can be a valuable mentor.  When we listen and invest in our kid’s lives, practice patience and understanding and allow our children to be independent, that relationship can grow to be a blessing and your new daughters will not just be daughters-in-law but daughters-in-love.

Aiming for God’s Standards in Education

As parents we want the best for our children. We want them to be able to go to university, eventually to get a job they love, and  to support their families and the growing of God’s Kingdom.

We have twelfth graders in our house this year, and so the questions are flying. 

Do they have enough science? Math? How are their essay writing skills? What about electives?

Then the comparing starts. We see what the kids in the local school are doing and evaluate where our kids stand in comparison to them. We buy SAT study books and have them take the exams to find out how they are doing compared to everyone else. As we compare, I find myself floundering. Will my kids have the education they need? Have they done enough?

When comparing our kids to children schooled differently than ours (public to homeschool, homeschool to private, etc.) we will find some who measure up much better than ours. We’ll also find those who make our kids look like geniuses!

Education standards are important, but we need to teach our children to do their best–not to do better than so and so or to get a certain grade on their SATs. The Bible says we need to do everything as if we’re doing it specifically for the Lord Jesus as a gift of worship. That includes math, science, writing, history, and physical education–every course our kids take.

The education standard we need to give our kids is higher than any school board can ever set. God’s standard is one that evaluates not just the marks, but also the heart and motives. If our kids have done their assignments the absolute best they can, with an attitude of worship toward Him, they have met His standard. Even if their marks fall much lower than those of their peers.

As a parent, are you letting your children settle for getting good grades, or even good-enough grades? Or are you training them to aim for God’s standard? How do you suggest we practically do that?

Carla Anne Coroy

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