Your Best You

Your Best You: Discovering and Developing the Strengths God Gave You

Have you ever wanted to break free from unhealthy habits or a negative lifestyle?  Then Your Best You by Bonnie Grove might be just what you are looking for.  Whether you want to quit smoking, overeating or storing up clutter, you will learn through this book how to use your strengths to overcome your weaknesses.

Grove clearly explains how to do an inventory of your strengths, likes, and goals (among other things) to enjoy living in freedom from the activities or choices that would entangle us.  She provides not only the forms to fill in right in the chapter itself, but she also includes her own personal form filled out so you can clearly see how it should be done.  Seeing her true-to-life form gives a glimpse into another woman’s journey to discovering her best self.

As you work through this 185-page book (which includes all your forms and hers) you will uncover your true goals and dreams.  A the same time you will recognize the goals and dreams you’ve been striving for that you thought should be yours or what others communicated you should own.

Throughout the book, Grove points the reader to Scripture, prayer and God’s active involvement in your life, your strengths and desires.  As you journey through the book, you will be engaging with God through Bible reading, prayer and journaling.  It is a valuable resource you will work through once and keep on hand to go through again and again.  It will help you see yourself, your friends and family with eyes that look for strengths instead of weakness as you break free from the things that entangle you.

Please enjoy the interview with Bonnie Grove about Your Best You in today’s TalkShoe podcast.

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Words of Encouragement

Here are some phrases you can use to cheer, encourage and woo those around you.  Feel free to print a copy to hang on the fridge or keep in your purse.  If you are like me and criticism comes much more naturally than encouraging words, this is the most invaluable tool!  When you’ve used them all… think of your own and add to the list!

As a matter of fact… leave a comment with some ‘Wooing Words’ you’d like to share with all of us!

1. You brighten my day!
2. I love it when you smile!
3. You are part of what made today great.
4. I choose you.
5. You have the courage of a soldier and the heart of a lover.
6. Your advice is always rich with wisdom.
7. Kindness looks great on you!
8. Conversations with you are like a great cup of coffee, they perk me right up.
9. When you tell me stories I feel like I’m right in it.
10. You are on my ‘favorite people’ list.
11. It will be exciting to see how the miracle of your life (or this difficult situation) unfolds.
12. I love it when you listen so intently to what I say.
13. Time with you is wisely invested.
14. You are worth every minute!
15. Listening isn’t hard when you are talking to me.
16. You make our house seem like home.
17. Without you our family would be dull.
18. Your voice is music to my ears.
19. You certainly add spice to my life.
20. I’m glad you are my (husband, daughter, friend, son, teacher, etc.).
21. Getting to know you better is a real privilege.
22. I can see in you the makings of a true hero.
23. I wouldn’t ever wish that I’d done things differently in my life, because if I did you might not be part of it.
24. It’s quite an honor to be seen with you in public… thank you!
25. When I talk to God about the important things in my life, I often talk about you.

Coming Out of the Pit

The Bible refers to our troubles as a pit. Unfortunately most of the pits we find ourselves in have been self induced.   The word pit simply means a hole, a cavity or a miserable and depressing situation.  And I am here to tell you some of us are dealing with some holes in our lives–some depressing and miserable moments in our lives.

Look how David described the pit situation in Psalm 40:2 “He brought me up also out of a horrible pit, out of the miry clay and set my feet upon a rock and established my goings.”

If you are in a pit today because of your own doing, then take responsibility for it.  Stop moaning and trying to blame everyone else for your problems.  Make every effort to remedy the situation as God instructs you.

You may be experiencing Christian growing pains. Sometimes when we are being tried, we can think it’s a pit because it’s painful.   Lamentations 3 makes it clear that life can be hard.  Life is not just a bowl of cherries, sometimes it’s a bowl of pits. Sometimes in the rose garden we don’t get the flowers, just the thorns.  Again I am not denying the blessings of life, not at all.  Because there are glorious times, times of blessings and joy, times of rich celebrations.   I thank God for those times.

But perhaps you are in the valley of despair today. Most of us can identify with this too.  An incurable disease.  A broken heart. A financial crisis that robs us of all status, style and security.  Whatever it is, how we react to it determines whether or not despair becomes the ruler of our lives.  Despair does nothing good to us.  It will take its toll on our families, our relationships, and even our health.

First, despair distorts the facts and truth by producing an outlook of utter hopelessness.

Then despair dominates our feelings by keeping our attention and focus on the distorted facts.

Also despair denies our faith.  Despair is not the exercise of faith. 

Praying in the pit is not really a sweet polite prayer, but it is an honest prayer.  There is no need to censor or hide or pretend to ignore our feelings.  Just give it over to the Lord, all of it.

Maybe it’s time to pray:  “Lord take vengeance and right all wrong.  Make all things right with our enemies and with us. Father, have mercy on us.  Lord, we believe, help our unbelief.”

Now you can say to yourself, I am coming from my pit of destruction.  I am coming from my pit of heartaches.  I am coming from my pit of defeat and doubt.

Praying from the pit can be a bold expression of faith. Because God can handle the pits.  Here is the truth, God came after us.  He came after us by climbing into the muck and mire of all our pride and walked with us in the pit.

Whatever the situation you  find yourself in, remember God has a plan for you, and you are not going to find it sitting in the pit, wringing your hands and holding your head down.  It’s time for action.

To leave a comment:
• If you are reading this post in email form, click the article headline. This will take you to the article on MMCW’s website.
• Scroll down until you see the box entitled ‘Speak Your Mind’.
• Enter your name, email (it will not be published) and your website or blogsite if you have one (you do not have to have one).
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Remembering Joy

Do you ever find yourself hard at work on some task when all of a sudden a funny memory from the past comes back to you and you can’t help it but grin while trying desperately to hold back the laughter?  This happens to me more frequently than I care to say.  Just yesterday my mind went back to a funny little incident of my teenage years.  My sisters and I had been rehearsing a Christmas song to be performed at the church’s Christmas program.  We had worked so hard with our music director and the song sounded great!  Problem is when we actually performed the song, for reasons I have yet to understand, we got the giggles. It got so bad that the four of us busted out laughing hysterically in the middle of our performance.  It was so embarrassing to my parents…but so hilarious!  Every time I remember that moment, I cannot help but laugh out loud.

Laughter is healthy for the soul.  There are even studies that confirm it.  I’ve often heard people say, “If you laugh more often about your circumstances, you will live longer.”  I don’t know if that is true, but I do know that life looks better when I am with optimistic, happy people who through adversity yet choose to live a joyous life.  My late pastor, John Colbaugh, comes to mind.  I don’t know that I have ever met a more content person.  He was always full of joy, regardless of the fact his body was eaten up with cancer.  Two weeks before his passing, he was preaching and greeting people and loving his congregation.  He was just such a great example of a life that is full of the joy of the Lord.  His joy was contagious!

I love meeting people who are positive and strong in spirit.  Unfortunately for you and me, the world is full of pessimists and killjoy people who would drag us down and make us doubt where our strength comes from.  If there is something that the enemy is good at, it is discouraging people.  I suppose he figures, if we are discouraged, we will become distant from God, and at that point we become easy prey.  Discouragement can kill your relationship with God quicker than anything else.  That is why Christ, during his ministry on earth, continually pointed everyone to the Father as the source of hope and joy.  With comments like: “I came to give life and life abundantly” or “I am the way, the truth and the life, and no one comes to the father but through me…”  Jesus is life and life is not supposed to be sad and depressing.  Not a life with Christ, that is.

Many times we get so distracted by our problems that we tend to forget who is our source of joy.  I recently re-read, The Book of God by Walter Wangerin, Jr.  I’ve read it at least three times and at times I still go back to a certain chapter because I find it extremely inspiring.  For those who have not read it, it is a portrait of the Bible as a novel.  It does not go through the entire Bible but it takes some of the stories in the Bible and tells the story all over again in a poetic and creative way.  There is one story I enjoyed very much and thought about while writing about joy.  King Saul had already been rejected by God for his disobedience and cold heart, and now David comes in the picture as a young teenager boy who is prepared to face Goliath, the giant.  Of course, Saul is full of despair and fear; there is no trace of the confidence and strength of the Spirit in him.  His soul has grown hard and cold.  David defeats the giant, and in his beautiful writing style, Walter Wangerin writes: “and Saul laughed!  He laughed as he did in the old days when the Spirit of God was with him.”  What happened to Saul? He remembered what joy felt like.  That’s what many of us need today, to remember what joy feels like and to allow joy to flood our hearts with laughter once again.

To leave a comment:

• Scroll down until you see the box entitled ‘Speak Your Mind’.
• Enter your name, email (it will not be published) and your website or blogsite if you have one (you do not have to have one).
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• When you are done, click ‘submit comment’.  That’s it!  We look forward to hearing from YOU!

Hinges & Locks

For the Schaeffers, shuttering their home in the Alps to the constant stream of seekers was easier said than done.  The needs were unending, the requests for counsel and support unrelenting.

As a strategic player in the mountain retreat at L’Abri, time and again Edith Schaeffer wore out as she unbolted her heart and home to hundreds of students coming to her theologian and philosopher husband, hoping to renew their minds and rediscover faith.

For Edith, the revelation that doors have locks as well as hinges, created an openness to recover a healthy balance between personal, home and ministry life.  Regularly closing the door to renew and refresh her own mind, as well as enjoy the family God had given her, required grit and a commitment to God’s Word, renewal and rest.

The post-modern Christian woman functions as if doors only have hinges. The gates swing wide open for the needs of family, friends, neighbors and colleagues. Everyone has access.

Opportunities to renew the mind through reading, rest, prayer, solitude or reflection seems indulgent rather than indispensable.

The predictable fatigue, discouragement and negativity generates confusion and guilt.  Serving becomes a burden, relationships crack, joy evaporates, exhaustion overwhelms as we react to life and the next pressing need.

We wonder what has gone wrong with our souls.

Author, Phillip Gulley, expresses our dilemma with these words:  “Elton Trueblood talked about how we’re a cut flower world.  We sever things from their life source and expect them to flourish.  And we cut ourselves off from God and are dismayed when our lives wilt and fade…..We want joy and beauty, but we want them without having to stay connected to the One who gives them.”

A renewed mind is a beautiful and joyful thing.  A renewed and healthy mind flourishes when we attach to the One who restores both mind and soul. It requires grit and a commitment to barring the door and spending time only with Him.

So, pull the shades. Turn off the phone. Pretend no one is home if you must.  Remember doors have both hinges and locks.

Spend time alone with God and renew your mind and heart.

“Here’s what I want you to do:  Find a quiet, secluded place so you won’t be tempted to role-play before God.  Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage.  The focus will shift from you to God, and you will begin to sense his grace.”  Matthew 6:6, The Message

Kay Swatkowski is a mother of four, grandmother of three, former teacher and women’s and children’s ministry director. She currently counsels at Compass Christian Counseling at Northpoint Church. She is passionate about coaching parents as they develop a lifelong relationship with their kids. Find more of her thoughts at www.kaysperspectives.com

Walking in Wisdom: Shoes Optional

Admit it–the Proverbs 31 woman bugs us all just a bit. She’s perfect! How can the rest of us imperfect women ever follow in her footsteps?

MMCW’s theme for 2010 is Walking in Wisdom: Shoes Optional. We believe the Proverbs 31 woman has a lot to impart to us–not to make us feel inferior but to encourage us to know  “we can do all things through Christ who strengthens…”‘

It’s easy to read Proverbs 31 and think that’s all there is to a godly woman. We forget the other thirty chapters. In those chapters are nuggets of wisdom including the contrast of the wise and the foolish woman.

Looking at Proverbs 31 woman does us no good if we are unwilling to look at the foolish woman too. The main characteristic of the Proverbs 31 woman is she knows the difference between true wisdom and foolishness. This year we will highlight articles on the nuts and bolts of being a godly woman who walks in wisdom as we shine light on the foolish woman of Proverbs.

If you would like to share your testimony of God’s work in your life, send us your story at mentoringmoments@aol.com. We have also created a cute Walking in Wisdom button for those of you with blogs and websites.  Join in the walk by displaying our button which you can get here.

Let’s get walking–feel free to kick off your shoes!

Praying About 2010 Priorities

Life hectic? Slow the pace down this week to carve out time to pray over your 2010 priorities.  It’s important for you and me to know the Lord’s priorities for this point in our lives. He has a plan for investing our time, talents, and energy in 2010. If praying over priorities is new, here’s how I go about it for myself and family each year.

• Start with prayer. Ask for the Lord’s wisdom, knowledge, understanding, and discernment.
• Have pen and paper ready. I use a notebook or journal to easily refer back in the days ahead.

List yourself and each family member and ask God to show you where He wants you to invest your time, talents, and energy in 2010. For your family, think through their talents, skills, personalities, and interests you want to invest in. As areas come to your mind (including their and your character weaknesses) write them down and pray over them asking for the Lord’s direction. Ponder the goals the Lord would have for you and your family. Each of these steps will help in the decision making of involvement in different activities.

For example: Perhaps you have a musically talented child who you see is rather self-absorbed or incredibly shy. God may very well give you the idea to invest time with this child, using her talent of singing and playing the guitar to visit a nursing home where her focus can be off of herself and on touching the lives of others. This may result in you saying yes to the whole family spending time at  nursing homes instead of going to watch a movie with friends.

Once you have prayed through the priorities for you and your family in 2010, it’s time to make decisions based upon these priorities. Making the Lord’s priorities our own for the New Year means setting some boundaries and having a clear understanding of acceptance.

Learn to say no with confidence.

Don’t say, “I don’t have enough time.” Simply say, “No.” Your answer can be given with confidence if you are making it because of the priorities God has given you for your child, family, or particular things He wants to accomplish in your life right now.

The fact is, saying I don’t have enough time actually means: it is not a priority right now. If you offer excuses the person hearing them may not understand and try to offer solutions to overcome your excuses. Keep in mind the real reason for your no is this particular endeavor or activity you were asked to participate in does not line up with where you feel your time should be spent at this point in your life. Politely say no. As you see this person, do not run from her. Inquire how things are going with her endeavors.

Don’t take no personally

When you hear someone say, I don’t have enough time to something of interest to you, let it be an insight  that they are not as interested in something as you may be at this time. Do not be offended by it.  This will help you grow in the area of not feeling rejected and taking things too personally.

By knowing the specific priorities God has given you right now, you will more easily be able to say yes to things that line up with these priorities and no, without guilt, to some very good things that just do not fit this season of your life.

Having grace to accept where others are in life, you will be able to hear a no and not feel a sense of rejection. You will be able to recognize I don’t have enough time as an indication of a lack of priority, and that’s quite alright.

Everything Old is New Again

“What’s new, Pussycat?” Tom Jones asked in a tune from the 60’s. The answer is easy.  In a few hours, the year will be new. And in 2010, almost everything we see prominently displayed will be new because we live in a society that highly values the new.

Technology is new.  MP3s and IPODs replaced CDs and cassettes which replaced 8-track tapes and phonograph records. Computers bought a few years ago are replaced by those that are smaller and faster or by applications on cell phones. Movies such as Avatar create new worlds and new creatures to inhabit them.

Fashions are new. Fashionistas predict what is in and what is out, bumped by the latest fad. Oddly enough, most fashions are not innovative but merely updated from past decades. As another (old) song says, “Everything old is new again.”

Décor is new. Every two or three years a high-powered committee decides what the next color trend will be. The home décor industry follows their lead. Within two years the new colors in the stores are the ones they’ve chosen. And they’re guaranteed to clash with the colors you currently have in your home. To make you want NEW stuff!

I was grateful recently to find a stylish new aqua paint shade to paint my kitchen. It is several shades lighter than my kitchen countertop which I chose 14 years ago when it wasn’t in style. I liked it and it complemented my now 18-year-old aqua leather couch in the den which also wasn’t in style. Apparently it is now! Who knew?

My feelings about new things started to change as I grew older and began to appreciate inherited family heirlooms. Now instead of wanting to replace every picture and re-paint every few years, I remember I chose them because they pleased me, and they still do.

A similar thing has happened in my faith. I’ve realized that “new” may be good in years, in technology, in fashions and décor, but it is usually heretical in the theological. Two thousand years of church history and a completed Bible have given us, as theologians wrote long ago, “everything we need for faith and practice.” All we have to do is practice our faith. Harry Ironside may have put it best when he said that in theology, “what’s true isn’t new and what’s new isn’t true.”

In an article called “Longing for Something Old,” musical artist John Fischer wrote: “As the church today gets more and more hip—more and more need-oriented, responding to the buttons that people push in their pews—I find myself longing for more of a historical faith….I’m not even sure I want all my needs met as much as I want to meet God, and sometimes I wonder if he’s really interested in the noise of our contemporary clamoring. Like my dog who can’t seem to get anywhere because he keeps having to stop and scratch his fleas, I wonder if we are so busy scratching where everybody itches that we aren’t taking anybody anywhere significant.”

Jeremiah told the people of his day that the only way to go anywhere significant was to go back to the faith they had abandoned or given mere lip service to: “Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls…” (Jer. 6:16 NIV).

Standing at the crossroads of this new year of 2010, it is my desire to go somewhere significant and to take others there too. To do that we may have to take a fresh look at some old ideas—old in the sense of being valued heirlooms passed down from One who loves us. When we do, we may find to our surprise that everything old is new again.

The Knee that Does Not Bow

“…At the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” Philippians 2:11

Bowing may be acceptable in some countries, but in the United States it is not. Bowing is considered downright unpatriotic. As a result of our lack of bowing experience, the debacles of our new president should come as no surprise. President Obama has been accused of not bowing, bowing too low, and accepting the bow of an American journalist to himself!

While the choice was President Obama’s to bow, many are forced to bow to dictators or lose their lives. Some bow out of national heritage and respect to kings or queens. Others bow to gods that do not exist.

Christians bow too.

We bow at the altar of legalism, man-made rituals and traditions, even to men we’ve elevated.

We bow low in December to hectic, stress-filled days trying to be everything to everyone, yet never finding time to bow to Whom we celebrate.  Altars are created when cookie-swaps, ornament exchanges, company parties, worry over broken diets, and endless To Do lists take greater precedent in our day than sitting in His presence, abiding in His Word, and just talking to Him.

When we put everything and everyone ahead of our first priority–our relationship with the Lord–we are bowing at a false altar. I’ve knelt there all too often. Right before Thanksgiving I found myself laying awake because I had so much to do I could not sleep. The overwhelming feeling in the pit of my stomach was of my own creation. I was too busy to stop and pray, read my Bible, or cry out for help. The Lord reminded me this was how Martha felt—out of control and unwilling to relinquish it—even for His presence and peace.

I had to make a choice about where I would bow—to Jesus Christ or to my chaos.

Jesus Christ will not someday inherit a throne like Prince William—He reigns from eternity past.

He will not force anyone to bow as dictators must do. All will lay willingly prostrate before Him in light of His holiness one day.

He is not a dead god who cannot speak to His children. As believers we can daily experience His presence, His voice, and His Word. He knows us individually and has our names engraved in the palms of His hands.

He is not moved by this world’s problems. Global warming is not an issue for Him. He named the stars, laid the ocean boundaries, and has told us specifically what lies ahead in the Bible.

There is something else about Christ we need to recognize.

He does not bow.

Not to our selfish ambitions, to world leaders, rituals or traditions that try to take His place or even men who seek to mimic His voice.

His knee bows to no one.

You and I may never rub shoulders in this life with rulers of this world, but one day we will all have the glorious honor of lying prostrate before the only true King of Kings and Lord of Lords–Jesus Christ.

On that day even President Obama will have no problem knowing what to do.

Take a few minutes to bow in worship and be reminded of just Who He is. Why not listen along to the music as you continue your computer work today.

Shhhhhhhhh

The book of Habakkuk is the cry of a man who is frustrated over the state of his land and over God’s harsh response to His people for their unfaithfulness.  In His sovereignty, God allowed hard rulers and enemies of the people to rule over them.  Habakkuk literally wrestles with God over the severity of the people’s situation.  Then, in the midst of his frustration, he acknowledges, “…But the Lord is in His holy temple; let all the earth be silent before Him…” (Hab. 2:20)  When we recognize the vastness of WHO He is and how He is in complete control, even in our seemingly hopeless situations, we can’t help but be silent.

Furthermore, it is only in this silence that we can truly be aware of Him.

As a mom of five who is also running a business from our home, I often feel that my world is extremely noisy.  If I’m gut-level honest with you, more than once I have found myself, against my heart’s desire, shouting to be heard above the noise.  Does it work?  Nope. My shouts become more noise that is drowned out by chaos.  In contrast, I am working these days to grow as a so-called “baby-whisperer” who photographs newborns… giving their mamas a break while we capture for them the days that will soon be gone.  How do I calm these little ones?  Quite literally, I whisper.  You know the drill if you’ve ever held a little one – there’s a cadence to the whisper that accompanies a fussy baby… shhhh, shhhh, bounce, bounce, shhhh, shhhh, bounce, bounce.  And in this near-silence, there is often found calm.

Why is it so easy to forget that Jesus is our Emmanuel, the God who is with us?  When life is loud, He is in the midst, and ever-so-softly, He calls to us to run to Him for patience and peace, for direction and strength, for deliverance from our own brokenness.

I remember as a little girl, sitting in my grandma’s house in the dark living room while everyone else celebrated in another room.  She had this quiet little gadget for her Christmas tree that softly played carols as the lights flickered in tempo.  It was in this quiet in the midst of the crazy family-storm that I found peace and kinship with my Jesus.  And still, as an adult, when I avoid the temptation to fill every waking minute with noise and activity, there is often the sweetest fellowship with the One whose birth we celebrate during the Christmas season.

Why, my sister, do we look for God in the noise?  He is found in the quiet.  As we bounce through our holiday preparations, let our bounce be accompanied by a shhhh, shhhh… and let our ears be tuned for the calm that can only come from our often-quiet Papa.

Let All Mortal Flesh Keep Silence

Let all mortal flesh keep silence,

And with fear and trembling stand;

Ponder nothing earthly minded,

For with blessing in His hand,

Christ our God to earth descendeth,

Our full homage to demand.

King of kings, yet born of Mary,

As of old on earth He stood,

Lord of lords, in human vesture,

In the body and the blood;

He will give to all the faithful

His own self for heavenly food.

Rank on rank the host of heaven

Spreads its vanguard on the way,

As the Light of light descendeth

From the realms of endless day,

That the powers of hell may vanish

As the darkness clears away.

At His feet the six wingèd seraph,

Cherubim with sleepless eye,

Veil their faces to the presence,

As with ceaseless voice they cry:

Alleluia, Alleluia

Alleluia, Lord Most High!

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