Words of Wisdom: Olympia Morata, Her Talents for His Glory

[NOTE: Often when we hear “mentoring,” we only think of the one-on-one kind. However, it struck me recently that I had been mentored by many women who never knew my name. I heard them speak or read their books and through their words, they mentored me. This series which will be posted occasionally includes some of the lessons we can learn when we receive Words from the Wise.]

Though born a woman, womanly things I have left behind:
Yarn, the shuttle, threads of the loom, and baskets.
It is the flowery meadow of the Muses I admire,
And the cheerful choral dances of double-crested Parnassus.
Perhaps other women are pleased with other things,
But these are my glory, and these are my joy.

These lines from a poem by Olympia Morata (1526 – 1555) are, under various translations, her best known work and have been quoted by some as an early feminist proclamation. I have included them in my historical semi-fiction, Weight of a Flame, because they represent one phase of her life, but I don’t consider them a feminist statement, for various reasons.

First of all, we can’t impose on the past categories that did not exist or had different connotations than they have today. Secondly, Olympia did not write these words in protest against inequality between the sexes. She was at that time a teenage girl trying to please her father and teachers, who encouraged her to cultivate her outstanding academic talents, exchanging, as one of them wrote, “the pen for the distaff, books for house linens, and writing exercises for needle-work.”

Probably Olympia didn’t mind leaving these women’s pastimes behind. She may have been proud of her unique abilities, but when her world was suddenly turned upside down, she lamented that she had neglected what was really important – the knowledge of God. As God allowed her to continue to use her talents, she saw them in a different light: “When I considered the matter over and over again as diligently as possible, I could find no other reason for me to work at these studies other than ‘it lay at the feet of God.’”

As we consider the many different situations Olympia encountered in her life, we can say that, when the occasion called, she ran her household well. When her health forced her to hire outside help, she took care to find a dependable person. When her younger brother was entrusted in her care, she acquired a book on godly child-rearing.

Her literary accomplishments remained outstanding and received great recognition, but she learned to keep them in the right perspective, holding God’s glory and the benefit of His church foremost in her mind. Her last poem expresses well what her focus had become.

I long to be fade away, so great is my confidence in Christ,
and to be with Him in whom my life thrives.

Weight of a Flame, The Passion of Olympia Morata

Simonetta Carr, a mother of eight, is the author of the ongoing series of 
Christian Biographies for Young Readers published by RHB and of the young adult historical fiction Weight of a Flame, published by P&R. You may read more about her and her books on her blog: simonettacarr.com.

Growing Day by Day

Believers, if you would have an increase of happiness in Christ’s service, labor every year to grow in grace. Beware of standing still. The holiest men are always the happiest. Let your aim be every year to be more holy–to know more, to feel more, to see more of the fullness of Christ. Do not rest on old grace: do not be content with the degree of Christianity which you have attained. Search the Scriptures more earnestly; pray more fervently; hate sin more; mortify self-will more; become more humble the nearer you draw to your end; seek more direct personal communion with the Lord Jesus; strive to be more like Enoch– daily walking with God; keep your conscience clear of little sins; grieve not the Spirit; avoid arguments and disputes about the lesser matters of religion: lay more firm hold upon those great truths, without which no man can be saved. Remember and practice these things, and you will be more happy.

J.C. Ryle in Practical Religion

New Year’s Resolution: Share the Message of Hope

Around the month of November there is a nudge in my heart to start thinking about a spiritual theme for the New Year.  What does the Lord want to teach me through His Word?  How will He work through my life to encourage others in their relationship with Him?

In October I was preparing for a women’s retreat, A Cup of Hope, based upon Romans 15:13.  As I studied and prepared for this retreat I knew I had much to learn about the word hope. For example, I never thought about the theology of hope, nor have I ever thought about having an attitude of hope. From this retreat came the following spiritual theme:

Christ in me, the Hope of glory, through my life may others see.

Throughout the days of 2012, sharing this Good News:  His Only Purpose: Eternity. 

This hope is not based upon the definition found in Webster’s Dictionary.  This hope describes something that is certain, but not yet realized. This Hope is based upon “Christ Jesus, who is our hope,” (1 Timothy 1:1b).  He purchased salvation for mankind on the cross and it is this hope which will lead to the glory of God.

Those who do not know Christ are living in hopelessness.  Jesus Christ is the answer for those living in hopelessness and the Word is the Good News we have to share.  Paul writes, “Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God. And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us” (Romans 5:1-5 NASB).

Will you join me this year as we learn together how to share the message of Hope to a lost and dying world?

Laura Leathers

 

A Brand New Calendar

I love a new calendar, and I especially enjoy finding one with a fun theme and bright illustrations. I look at the empty, fresh white squares and check when Christmas falls, write in vacation dates, and anticipate first and last days of school.

Then when December 31st, is over, I save my calendar because it reads like a book with a plot sometimes planned, but other times filled with surprises and hastily scribbled detours. The settings change and the characters grow. Sorting through all the activities, I may even find a theme. I hope it’s rich with love and commitment to what is important: faith, family, and friendship.

Some squares are filled with scribbles, fine print squished into what little white space remained. Too much of everything. Did I ever pause?

And then I think of Thornton Wilder’s play Our Town. In Act III, Emily’s departed spirit returns home during her own funeral. Given the opportunity to relive one day of her life in Grovers Corner, she chooses her 12^th birthday. But instead of experiencing  joy, Emily finds, “We don’t have time to look at one another.” Commenting on how fast life goes, she declares, “Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it–every, every minute?”

The Psalms contain verses that echo Emily’s sentiments. “Show me Lord, my life’s end and the number of my days and let me know how fleeting my life is” (Psalm 39:4)  and  “Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom” (Psalm 90:12).

Perhaps, like Emily and the psalmist, when we jot notes on the calendar square, we should number each day, appreciate and wonder at the gift of it. And most of all, pray to gain a heart of wisdom as we value its “every, every minute.”

Accepting My Pesky Imperfections

I spoke. She took notes. Toward the end of our session, she asked, “What is the most important thing you said today?”

I said many things in that hour-and-a-half. But to pick one and have to repeat it? I pondered her question aloud: “What is the most important thing I said today?” I searched my mind and I knew what I needed to say, but I didn’t want to. She waited. I sighed.

“I don’t feel loved for who I am so that’s why I try to be perfect…so people will love me for what I do.”

I pursed my lips and nodded slowly, letting it sink in. Yes. I’m a perfectionist.

That was several years ago. Now, I’m a recovering perfectionist. Although I’ve had a lifetime of unrealistic expectations of myself, I’m learning that God doesn’t expect me to be perfect. Because of Jesus, God accepts and loves me for who I am. God isn’t like me–He doesn’t focus on my pesky imperfections.

My expectations
For many years, I did things to gain people’s acceptance. I rescued them. I pushed myself. I worked harder and longer. I’d nitpick things until they were “perfect.” I don’t recall people telling me I had to do these things–although it didn’t stop some of them from asking. But because I got attention for doing well in school while growing up, that overachiever mindset followed me to college, to adulthood, to the working world, and even to church.

Although I couldn’t pinpoint it back then, my expectations for myself were so high, I couldn’t possibly reach them. But I tried anyway. I figured, if I did things perfectly, others–including God–would accept me, and I would feel better about myself. In the end, I didn’t feel better. Exhausted, but not better.

God’s expectations
In the past several years, I’ve learned that God has different expectations of me than I do for myself. Yes, He is perfect, but He knew I couldn’t be. So, He sent Jesus, His perfect Son, to die on the cross for me. When I accepted Jesus into my life, God erased my sins. He welcomed me to live with Him, the perfect God, not only in this life but in the life to come. I cannot be perfect for everyone. But to God, I am perfect. Mature. Complete. Whole. And all because of Jesus.

Still, God knows I’m going to mess up. He knows I’m going to fall short. But because I rely on Jesus’ perfection–not mine–I can relax. I try to excel at whatever I do, and I don’t count it lost if I don’t. I will work at it with all I’ve got and try to live with the utmost integrity, whether at home, work, or church (Colossians 3:23; Matthew 5:48). In the end, I’m not serving anyone else but Him (Ephesians 6:7).

God’s acceptance
Just because I’m serving God doesn’t mean I have to try harder. Although He expects excellence from me, it won’t win Him over. Because of Jesus, God has already accepted me (Romans 15:7). He loves me for who I am, not because of anything I’ve done or will do (Titus 3:4-5). Nothing can take God’s love away from me (Romans 8:38-39). Not even my pesky imperfections.

God’s definition
God accepts me, shortcomings and all, and He defines me. When God looks at me, He doesn’t see demographics, roles, errors, or blunders. He sees what Jesus did for me on the cross.

I was a slave to perfectionism, but God says I am free (Romans 8:2). I was a striving outsider, but God calls me His friend (John1 5:15). I was my own worst critic, but God says I’m forgiven (Ephesians 1:7). I thought I wasn’t good enough, but God calls me His wonderful creation, His handiwork (Psalm 139:14; Ephesians 2:10). God calls me His beloved child (John 1:12; Colossians 3:12).

It has taken almost my entire lifetime, but I’ve started to see myself the way God sees me, and my expectations are now lining up with what He expects of me. I still have those pesky imperfections. I still struggle. And I still nitpick. But because of Jesus, God accepts me no matter what. He loves me, and He alone defines me.

The most important thing I said today bears repeating: “God accepts me. He loves me. And He alone defines me.”

For that, I’m thankful.

Daphne Tarango is a freelance writer and speaker who comforts others with the comfort she herself has received from God (2 Corinthians 1:3-4). She lives in the Southeastern U.S., where she is a leader in a Bible-based recovery program. Contact Daphne at daphne@daphnewrites.com.

5 Practial Ways to Let Go of Perfectionism

1. Identify the triggers that urge you to do just a little bit more.

2. Set limits for what you will do and how much of yourself you will expend for a specific task. For example, “I’ll know I’m done when …”

3. When you reach your goal for what you said you’d do, stop and say, “I’ve given it my all, and that’s good enough.” Take your hands off and walk away.

4. If you’re still having difficulties letting it go, consider what you’d advise your best friend to do, if she were in your shoes, and then apply that advice to yourself.

5. In the end, remind yourself, “God accepts me. He loves me. And He alone defines me.”

Daphne Tarango is a freelance writer and speaker who comforts others with the comfort she herself has received from God (2 Corinthians 1:3-4). She lives in the Southeastern U.S., where she is a leader in a Bible-based recovery program. Contact Daphne at daphne@daphnewrites.com.

Ketchup and Mustard, Please

I stretched my hair net over my curls, washed my hands, and put on gloves. As I walked to the serving station, my eyes scanned the room. Raining and storming outside. A couple hundred people inside. People.

Young.

Old.

Black.

White.

Down on their luck.

Homeless.

A booming voice emerged out of the crowd, “Let us pray.” I bowed my head and listened. In my heart, I prayed, “Lord, please multiply this food.”

And so it began.

Burgers.

Fries.

Bread.

Lettuce.

Tea.

And ice cream.

I had the lettuce. It’s the last on the food line, so I get to hand the plate to each person. I love it! It gives me an opportunity to ask how each person is doing, smile, look them in the eyes, and joke with them about getting their veggies.

I see familiar faces every time I go to the homeless shelter, and they recognize me. I’m always humbled and moved when I see years of pain, bruises, and tattered clothes on God’s beautiful children.

Someone on my team set out the condiments. Ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise, and all the burger fixings.

A middle-aged woman–not more than 5-feet tall–picked up her plate, turned around toward the tables, and stopped. “Ketchup and mustard?!? That’s rich people stuff.”

She rushed over and piled the condiments onto her plate like a child unattended in a candy store.

Rich people stuff. I don’t know about you, but when I think of the wealthy, I don’t think of condiments. I see fancy cars, a huge home, and other luxuries.

That middle-aged woman sees it differently. I have a car and a home. I have ketchup, and I have mustard. Indeed, I am wealthy.

I may not be where I want to be in life. I may be facing many hardships.

Addictions.

Hurts.

Illness.

Family conflicts.

Financial troubles.

But God has promised never to leave me or to forsake me–whatever my circumstance (Hebrews 13:5). I can take comfort not in the riches of this world, but in the riches of faith, family, friends, food, and yes, ketchup and mustard.

Daphne Tarango is a freelance writer and speaker who comforts others with the comfort she herself has received from God (2 Corinthians 1:3-4). She lives in the Southeastern U.S., where she is a leader in a Bible-based recovery program. Contact Daphne at daphne@daphnewrites.com.

Advice For When You Meet a Joy Vampire

Romans 12:1-2

There are jobs, sometimes even people in our life that may be joy suckers. My husband calls them joy vampires.  These people and jobs cause our mind to turn from thinking on the positive and good around us to focusing on the negative.

If it is your job stealing your joy, pray about your attitude.  Look at it from the perspective of what God has to say.  Colossians. 3:17 reminds us to do whatever we do in word or deed in the name of the Lord Jesus giving thanks to God the Father through Him.  Look at your job by asking how could the way I respond further His kingdom.  Maybe it is like the neighborhood children who never seemed to leave my house during the summer.  I was seeing money and food, but God was seeing the lost and hurting.  Ask God to change your mind and heart toward whatever it is that sucks your joy out.

If it is people who are robbing your joy ask God to reveal to you why.  Is it that they are just negative by nature?   Are they demanding and expect compliance from you?  Be very careful because too much time spent with a joy sucker can affect your attitude.  Rick Warren says, “What gets your mind gets you.”  When you are tempted to get discouraged, angry,  or you feel taken advantage of be very careful that you see the enemy attack for what it is.  Pray and ask God to give you His perspective.  Try to define what is stealing your joy.  Ask God to reveal anything you aren’t seeing then remedy your situation by thinking on good.  Study scripture and allow truth to permeate your thoughts.

Focus on Jesus, and limit time with joy sucking people when possible.  Make sure you do not become a joy sucker.  Your mind really is the battle field, and where you allow your mind to rest will determine your heart attitude.

 

Do I Trust God?

I always thought I trusted God. But situations came up that showed me I didn’t really trust Him as much as I thought. Instead, I trusted in others and myself.

For example, years ago when our firstborn left for college, I lamented to my husband, “Now I can’t protect her any more.”

“You never were the one protecting her,” he replied. “God was.”

What? Wasn’t I the one who held her hand as a young child to keep her safe as she crossed the street? And what about the limits I set when she became a teen? I thought I was protecting my daughter. When I realized it was God all along, I knew I could trust Him to continue protecting her when she no longer lived at home. And He did.

Then there was the matter of employment. When my husband was unexpectedly laid off, it felt like a big crisis. We had a family and needed income! I realized I had been trusting in that company to provide for us, not God. But it was God all along. He used that job to provide our financial needs for a time. But when my husband no longer worked there, God found other ways to provide: unexpected gifts of food and money, more education for my husband, and a new career. Another new revelation: God provides, not employers. I needed to trust in God alone.

Matthew 6:25-34 comforted me then and still does. In this passage we’re told not to worry about food, drink, and clothes. Our heavenly Father knows we need them. If God takes care of flowers and birds, He will surely provide for us.

You may not have a child leaving home or an unemployed spouse, but we all face challenges that stretch our trust in God. During hard times, we are forced to throw ourselves on the Lord and find Him trustworthy in new areas. Although people and things disappoint us, God never will. As we live one day at a time, we can encourage ourselves from God’s Word, knowing it won’t change or be impacted by the economy. It’s always the same—rich with wisdom and encouragement.

Now I’m a grandmother and hopefully a little wiser. I know God’s Word is true and that He is faithful. But at times I still struggle to trust Him completely. When my trust wavers, rereading Matthew 6:33 helps to refocus my perspective. “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” My part is to seek God, trusting Him to take care of me and of those I love. I’m still learning how.

Heavenly Father, thank You that You know my needs and care about me. Please help me trust You more. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

 

Compassion Around the Kitchen Table

“I am the man who has seen affliction Because of the rod of His wrath. He has driven me and made me walk in darkness and not in light” [Lamentations 3:1-2]

Around the kitchen table  is a place of compassion because it is also a place where the consequences and complications of disobedience are revealed.

In his book, “The Mystery of God’s Will”  Charles Swindoll says, “…when you do wrong, when you compromise with the truth, you begin to be afflicted, because God doesn’t let His children play fast and loose in the traffic.  He faithfully disciplines those He loves. He wants to bring us back. And so, in His mysterious will. He faithfully afflicts us with the rod of righteousness.”

Watching young women struggle with the consequences of their gods of addiction breaks the heart and causes the words of Jesus, “But go and learn what this means: “I desire mercy and not sacrifice” [Matthew 9:13] to pierce the heart with the compassion of Christ turning religion into relationship and His mercy is present to change lives.

Perhaps that’s why He calls us His disciples.  Around the kitchen table we urge one another to stay true to God by living true, but more than that by sharing the mercy of a merciful God.  A God of more than second chance whose mercies are new every morning.  The heart that is changed the most is the one who becomes the channel of compassion  around the kitchen table.

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