A vocal minority is seeking to redefine marriage in the United States. As Christians, we believe that marriage is meant to be between one man and one woman….but do we know why? Let our thinking be informed by Ephesians 5:31-32, which says, “’For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.”

Our culture is confused about the purpose of marriage, and this gives rise to the current controversy. Marriage’s primary purpose is not for our edification, sanctification or pleasure. Nor is procreation the ultimate goal. These are, of course, vital parts of a biblical marriage. But Paul tells us here that marriage is even more than this. It is no less than a representation of the relationship between Christ and His church, and a witness to the beauty of the Gospel.

Marriage must reflect the union of Christ and His church accurately. Polygamy communicates that Christ can have more than one bride. Adultery indicates that Christ and His bride are not required to be faithful to one another. Divorce insinuates that Christ’s covenant with His bride can be broken. Premarital sex suggests that Christ can be intimate with His bride without making any kind of lasting commitment to her. And homosexuality implies that there can be two brides or two husbands. Every perversion of marriage is an affront to God, as it presents false testimony about Christ.

Christ laid down his life to redeem His bride, and they have become one flesh. He loves, leads, and purifies her, and she submits to Him willingly.

The world is watching. We need to be repenting every day of the sin within our own marriages, which veils this glorious Gospel. The church needs to stand for the sanctity of a creation ordinance which is about more than mere freedom of choice or personal preference.

John the Baptist was killed for defending biblical marriage. Are we willing to take a stand?

For a more in-depth presentation on this crucial topic, I highly recommend Jordan Lawrence’s podcast The Battle for Biblical Marriage, which can be downloaded at Blue Behemoth.com.

Related posts:

1. Marriage Is God’s Initiative
2. Marriage Mintues…Life Together with No Regrets
3. The Subtle Faces of Pride in Marriage

Only since 1970 and the publishing of Paul Erlich’s secular book, The Population Bomb (he studied insects for a living), has the notion that having more than two children was a mortal sin against the planet become part of the modern psyche.

There is no population crisis in Western industrialized nations.  In fact, quite the opposite.  Instead, the crisis we face today is the polar opposite of what the strident environmentalists warned us about in the heyday of mood lamps, LSD, and Bob Dylan.

The alarming reality is the birth rates in all of Western Europe, Japan, Russia, and even China are in serious decline. These nations are not only failing to replace their current population but their very future existence is in doubt. In some cases they are losing people at a current popular rate of decline of 20% or more.

Responsible economists are predicting that if this population rate of decline is not reversed, it’s only a matter of decades until their economies collapse from lack of workers and a dearth of spending consumers. It might be of interest to note the Scriptures speak to such a foreboding dilemma, “A large population is a king’s glory, but without subjects a prince is ruined” Proverbs 14:28.

The United States is only sustaining its current population due to the large influx of immigrants who are having large families. Otherwise, we would be in the same sinking ship as Western Europe, Russia, or other nations, which are actually paying families to have more children.

But are we overrunning the planet? We had someone from the funeral industry once explain that if you buried all the earth’s population right next to each other it would fill up a space the size of Rhode Island and perhaps Connecticut. So if there is not a genuine overpopulation crisis at work today in our society (just the opposite is actually true), why the renewed calls for one or two children families?

We believe the current birth dearth is more a philosophical or theological crisis than an ecological or economic one. As we have turned away from the Judeo-Christian ethic to a secular and agnostic belief system, we have in the Western cultures at the same time lost faith in our purpose, meaning, and destiny as a society. If we really have no reason to exist other than to serve ourselves and our narcissistic ambitions, why have kids at all?

The false gods of materialism, hedonism, and even the worship of nature (what Francis Schaeffer called the idols of “personal peace and affluence”) have left us so empty and drifting that we have no reason to reproduce another generation. Saving the whales has become more important to us than saving our way of life or saving souls. After all, the little crying creatures can be costly, an irritating interruption, and a real nuisance if pursuing your personal space and higher standard of living are your only real goals in life.

Let us say it clearly — the threat of having too many children is not America’s looming crisis, rather it’s having too little reason to live and to create another generation that is the real problem.

Just 100 years ago, Americans faced far more disease, lack of medical resources, and harsh standards of living than we do, yet they chose to have large families. Was it simply to make sure a few kids survived or because they lacked access to contraception? Perhaps in some cases, but the primary reason was they believed in the promise of America, the joy of family, and in a faith that said God would take care of them. The result was the most prosperous, industrious, creative, forward-looking and blessed society that our world has ever seen.

Our six precious children (and our son-in-law, daughter-in-law, and grandson), are all gifts from God, and they will tell you they are glad their highly educated mother (Master’s degree) stayed home to raise them. Furthermore they will admit she did not waste her education in doing so. Instead of squandering her hard-earned resources she invested them in the next generation by providing a secure and loving environment for our children.

Our six children

Twenty-five years ago when we discovered we were pregnant with our fourth child (we have six altogether), a very concerned and sincere nurse at the clinic asked us, “Are you two part of some cult?”

“No,” we answered, “We’re just making sure there is someone to pay your Social Security when you retire.”

There was more truth in our answer than we knew at the time.

For more information about the population crisis, Mentoring Moments recommends the fascinating yet chilling video Demographic Winter.

If you are viewing this post in an email and can’t see the video, you can click the linked title to view it on You Tube.

Bob & Cheryl Moeller

Related posts:

1. Is it a Sin to Have a Large Family?
2. Summer Goals for Family Fun & Growth-Part 2 for Moms
3. Summer Family Goals for Fun & Growth – Part 3, Categories

There is much controversy these days, even among Christians, over the number of children that a married couple should have. The argument, so it goes, is that a large number of children are bad for the environment, will use an inordinate amount of the world’s resources, will leave of all things (heaven forbid) a larger carbon footprint. Oh, by the way it will also possibly cause the wife to waste her education or possibly miss having a real career.

The implications are clear: to have a large family is irresponsible, selfish and poor stewardship of our planet (and a woman’s life).

As with any idea or proposition that believers must wrestle with in life the ultimate question should always remain: what do the Scriptures say? As believers in Christ, the ultimate issue is what authority shall we live by? For Christians, the answer of ultimate authority is simple and straightforward, “As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the Lord is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him” Psalm 18:30.

So what do the Scriptures say about the size of one’s family?

In Genesis God gives this command to the first married couple, “God blessed them and said to them, ‘Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it’” (Genesis 1:28). God repeats this same command to Noah and his children as they emerge from the ark, “As for you, be fruitful and increase in number; multiply on the earth and increase upon it” (Genesis 9:2).

Later in the Scripture the psalmist exalts a large family as a sure sign of the blessing of God, “Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them” (Psalm 147:4-5). It may be of interest to note that the quiver of a solider in that day traditionally held five arrows.

While there are numerous more Old Testament passages that exalt a large number of children as a sign of God’s blessing, in the New Testament we also find evidence of the same.

For example, we are told the family of Jesus was quite large by today’s standards. While Jesus was conceived of the Holy Spirit and born to Mary, Jesus had a large number of brothers and sisters, “Isn’t this the carpenter’s son? Isn’t his mother’s name Mary, and aren’t his brothers James, Joseph, Simon and Judas? Aren’t all his sisters with us?” (Matthew 13:54-56). Even by a conservative estimate there were seven children in the family of Jesus.

What was Jesus’ attitude toward children? “But Jesus called the children to him and said, ‘Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these’” Luke 18:6.

We would simply make the point the Scriptures by both teaching and example consistently portray children, even a large number of children, as a blessing and not a curse upon families and the earth. “Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him” Psalm 127:3.

While each couple must come to their own conviction as to the size of their family before God, it is important that we not condemn as irresponsible or unbiblical the desire of a family to raise a large number of children. John and Charles Wesley, two of the greatest figures in modern church history, came from a family of 17 children born to an Anglican pastor. In our family, Bob’s grandfather was one of 13 children and his mother was born to a family of seven. Cheryl’s father was raised with seven other brothers and sisters, and her mother was raised in a family of five children.

Tomorrow we will discuss the truth concerning overpopulation and the alarming reality.

Bob & Cheryl Moeller

Related posts:

1. Protecting Family Time During Christmas
2. Summer Goals for Family Fun & Growth-Part 2 for Moms
3. Tips for Family Bible Reading

Yesterday I shared the disturbing trend of teens fishing for compliments online in Do You Think I’m Pretty. This self-destructive activity is a cancer eating away at the self-esteem of both young women and men. The more revealing, the more shocking, the better. Even nice Christian youth are bombarded on a daily basis with images and words way beyond their years.

Cell phones, iTouch, Facebook, and Twitter. It’s here to stay.

What’s a parent to do? Take time to set boundaries. While teens may feel boundaries are too restrictive, you and I both know  boundaries can provide freedom. Loose and ill-defined boundaries can lead to areas that can ultimately cause spiritual and physical harm.

Tips

* Facebook’s terms of use states users must be 13 years of age. It is easy to find this is not the case. I know of children as young as 8 having their own Facebook page. While some may feel their child is mature enough, be warned:  Facebook contains adult language, subject matter, and images.

* By clicking ‘like’ or commenting on any post (for example a Most Beautiful ___ page), your child’s name will show up as a link back to her Facebook page. Make sure security settings are in place to allow only friends to see content, especially on photos. Not everyone is who they say they are, and that stranger could be sending your child a friend request.

* There is a difference between being a friend, knowing someone, and saying that we live in the same town / state. Teach your child to say no to every friend request that does not meet the criteria your family has set. If you have a funny feeling–delete them. Is your child getting an excessive amount of friend requests from people you do not know? Look below the surface and see where they are coming from. Depending on the age and maturity of your child, you may want to be the one who approves all friends from the start.

* Friend your child and have their passwords. Let your child know up front that mom and dad are overseeing the account. In my home when the question of child privacy has come up, the reply of my husband and I has been that Facebook is not a diary nor a place to share private matters–and a reminder that Mom and Dad will see everything.

* Photos. How many of us have seen the endless parade of duck lip pictures? You know the ones–lip puckered out to make checks look thinner. Stacey McDonald has an excellent post entitled, What Do Your Eyes Say? I encourage everyone to read this post on how nice Christian girls are being deceived and drawn away. Set boundaries with the type of photos that are allowed online.

* Another thing about Facebook photo settings, if not set correctly, anyone that is friends with you can access your child’s photos. Are you comfortable with everyone on your friend’s list having access?

* If your child has a cell phone or iTouch, you can always be the keeper of the passwords. This will require your child to come to you to add an App. or if  you choose, log into certain Apps such as Twitter and Facebook. You can also delete those Apps whenever you want.

We’ve all heard it said, and have probably said it a million times ourselves, that we are to be parents first before friends. In situations such as online security, there has to be diligence and oversight.

Do you have strategies and tips to share regarding online use for teens?

Related posts:

1. Do You Think I’m Pretty?
2. Dissed on Facebook
3. MMCW’s Fan Page

For weeks photos of tween-age girls have shown up in my Facebook feed. All asking the same question:

Do you think I’m pretty? If yes, hit ‘Like’.

Last week, because a tween friend had clicked ‘like’, yet another teen girl showed up in my feed. I read all 59 comments to this pretty brown-haired girl. The filth ranged from calling her ugly to comments about her parents. The culprits–fellow girls and guys.

The sponsor of this insanity, a Facebook page called Most Beautiful Teen Contest, is a page where anyone can upload pictures of a friend, an enemy, or self for everyone to compliment, or not. This type of Facebook page is not unique. When you run a Facebook search using words such as most beautiful numerous pages will appear. There are pages for most beautiful couples, teens, friends, even babies. Check them out–yes, look at what is influencing our young people. There is even a YouTube version Carla Ann Coroy wrote about last week on her blog.

Anger and sadness filled my heart when I read what this young girl is being subjected to at the hands of people she most likely does not even know.

Do you think I’m pretty? If yes, hit ‘Like.’

Is a young girl you know asking that question?

Who is answering her back?

My response on Facebook to the insanity was:

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1. MMCW’s Fan Page

God created each of us. All of us. We are not various races of people, we are one…the human race, created by a loving God.

Over the ages, a tiny little lie took root and grew. A lie that says all human life is not equal, not precious, not a right bestowed by a loving Creator.

It is not a political issue; it is a human rights issue.

It is a God issue.

This is Sanctity of Human Life month and Sunday, January 22nd, is Sanctity of Human Life Day. For Mentoring Moments it is more than a month or even a special day, it is a call.  As women of God, we are called to teach and train. This year we will be providing ongoing education into humans rights, specifically in the areas of abortion, slavery and human trafficking, adoption, special needs children and adults, widows and orphans.

If you are a blogger or even use Facebook and Twitter, we encourage you to join us and become a voice too.  Share the facts, the information, the call to help, and be a voice (even if you feel like you are only a small voice crying in the vast internet wilderness). Feel free to share the videos and articles that will be posted. Be a voice for those without a voice in 2012.

Focus on the Family has put together a marvelous video in honor of Sanctity of Human Life month. Watch it. Share it. Be a voice.

If you are reading this via email and do not see the video, click here.

Related posts:

1. Recognizing His Voice

The book arrived in my mailbox beautifully packaged with rose petals. The feminine touch was evident!  The cover of the book was delicate and yet intriguing. I’d promised to review the book, but now I was anxious and eager to read it.

Ashley Weis wrote Exposed: A Novel as a fiction story based on her own testimony of hurt, betrayal and trauma due to the exposure of her husband’s porn addiction.  In the book, main character Ally Graham – a marriage counselor – is thrown for a loop when she finds pornography on her husband’s computer.  Ally and her husband Jesse have been struggling for some time unsuccessfully to have a baby. Now she wonders if she will ever have that baby, or if she even wants one after being dealt the pain of porn.  Should she stay married?  Should she quit her job?

Weis does an excellent job of portraying the pain, hurt and all the powerful emotions every woman experiences when she discovers porn in her marriage.  As the reader I felt the hurt, the anger and the bitterness.

While Ally was busy dealing with her broken marriage, a young girl named Taylor was unknowingly growing up too fast, trusting in promises of fame and fortune, and giving herself away to be loved.  As Taylor’s photo shoots become the very drug Ally’s husband craved, she found herself becoming a broken, worn out-woman longing for hope, love and help from God.  Being a porn star wasn’t at all what she dreamed of being, but it was all she was until God gave her a gift growing within her womb.  Would she ever be able to love and protect this child?  Who would raise this baby?

Weis’ writing is fast-paced, emotionally charged and raw. The images created are vivid, the scenes are realistic, and the story is captivating.  I didn’t want to put it down. Sometimes the story became so painful I wanted to stop reading… but couldn’t.  I had to read to the end.

Dealing with pornography from both angles – the betrayed wife and the porn star – Weis captures the struggle with the industry as well as with the effect on marriages. With the use of fiction, she gives structure to the healing process and hope to those who are caught in the mess of porn in their own lives.

I highly recommend this book to those who want to better understand what a woman goes through when porn affects her marriage, as well as to those who love a tightly written, emotionally-raw read.

Ashley Weis has a ministry to help women in the shadows of pornography at www.morethandesire.com.  You can purchase Exposed: A Novel at her website, Amazon.com or Barnes & Noble.

Because of the widespread use of pornography both by church members and non-church members, I have invited Ashley Weis and sex addiction counselor Gerry Pettyjohn to discuss the book and the effect of pornography on wives.  Click here to listen to this informative interview.

Ashley and Gerry would love to answer your questions about pornography, steps to healing, protecting your kids from porn or other related questions.  Please leave a comment here with your question or send an email with “Exposed Questions” in the subject line.  You will either receive a personal email response or we will discuss the questions in a future call.

Everyone who leaves a comment or posts a question will be entered to win a copy of Ashley’s book Exposed: A Novel. Give away deadline is Friday, July 1st at midnight.

Related posts:

1. Covenant Eyes

“I lift up my eyes to the hills–where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.” Psalm 121: 1-2

Last Wednesday, April 27th, life changed for thousands across our Southern United States. Never before seen massive tornadoes left a path of death and destruction for so many, including some of  our readers.

Those of us who live in the South are accustomed to tornado sirens, storm shelters, and the occasional tornado. This far exceeded anything seen in generations. The town where my husband’s family lives, Hackleburg, AL, lost everything–schools, stores, city government, and many lives to an E5 tornado.

This is a photo of my husband’s aunt’s home:

Here is a powerful video from Hackleburg and Phil Campbell, AL.

You can also read of MMCW writer Tracey Cagle’s sister Tabatha’s story in yesterday’s Los Angeles Times here. This is Tabatha’s home:

Over the last few days the outpouring to the residents of Hackleburg, AL is being played out across the South in multiple communities. It is breathtaking to see believers of various denominations come together in unity for one another. The need is great–if you would like to help, here are some ways:

* American Red Cross.
Donate online at the Red Cross. If you would like to specify an area, consider Marion County, Alabama–the home county of Tracey Cagle and me.

If you would like to volunteer in the Hamilton, AL area (my hometown) and Hackleburg, AL (Tracey’s hometown) your group can contact the Red Cross offices in Hamilton at 205.921.1101. For large truck deliveries, please coordinate through the Red Cross as they have a staging location and distribution system in place.

* Samaritan’s Purse.
Samaritan’s Purse does much more than Operation Shoebox, including providing disaster relief. Donations and opportunities to volunteer on the ground available.

* Your denominational disaster relief ministry. Within hours local denominational ministries such as Marion County Baptist Association were on site. They are still there along with other ministries. Contact your church’s national disaster relief ministry for volunteer and donation information.

* Couponing. If you are an extreme coupon maven, put that stockpile of 500 tubes of toothpaste to use! If you’re just starting out, look for non-perishable supplies and paper products that can be used by a relief organization.

* Organize a rebuilding mission trip to the South this summer through your local church. There are no words powerful enough to convey the loss experienced. Residents are still in the recovery stage and next will come clean-up followed by rebuilding. Mississippi, Alabama, Tennessee, Georgia, all need help–pick a state and go.

* Prayer. The two words I’ve heard repeatedly are overwhelming and helpless. Please pray for the peace, provision, strength, and mercy of God. Men, women, and children are still missing and families need prayers rising on their behalf this week. The weather forecast is for rain, please pray for good weather as everyone works to salvage whatever they can. Most of all pray that the Lord will be glorified and souls will be saved during this time.

If you or your family has been affected by the tornadoes last week, please leave a comment with the name of your town and any prayer requests. Let’s agree together in prayer for the Lord to work in a mighty way in the hearts of those suffering right now and to bring His healing and comfort.

Related posts:

1. Helping Others by Listening
2. Lost: Diamond Ring

“Don’t take anyone else’s word for God. Find Him yourself, and then you too will know by the wonderful, warm tug on your heartstrings that He is there for sure.”

Related posts:

1. Heart of a Servant: Ruth Bell Graham
2. His Word Guides
3. Advice for New Bride

The internet has made it easy for teachers–good and bad–to share their words with the world. It is easy for even a sound teacher to get sloppy from time to time. And there is always a temptation to portray oneself in a better light online than what reality would bear.

Not every blogger needs an accountability structure. But what about the ministry-focused blog, thrust out into the blogosphere for public consumption? I believe these blogs should maintain a higher standard.

If you are seeking to use your blog to encourage other women and to minister to their spiritual needs, do you have any accountability structures in place? Do your friends in real life know about your blog? Does your husband ever read it? Is your pastor aware of it, and does he have the address? Is your blog appropriate for all ages? Do you take time to ensure that your teaching is biblical? Do you ever use your blog to slander or gossip about Christian leaders? Are you painting a picture of yourself that looks different from the one your friends and family see every day?

These are questions which the ministering blogger would do well to consider. I recognize that my readers and listeners have placed their trust in me, and I take that very seriously.  As the Scriptures say, “Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly,” James 3:1.

For this reason, I have had the following accountability structures in place since the beginning for my personal blog, Counter-cultural Mom.

Blogging
1) I never publish a single post on Counter-cultural Mom that has not been first read and approved by my husband, my first line of defense. He checks for tone and theological accuracy. He often suggests topics for me to blog about, and we frequently discuss ideas for the blog. If he does not like a particular post, it is not published.

2) Let us not blog in secret, dear sisters! I have several friends IRL (in real life) who read my blogs. They know whether I’m practicing what I preach and will call me out on it if I’m blogging hypocritically.

3) My pastor and church elder board have full access to my blogs and podcasts, and check in as often as they care to. They know that if they find something they feel is heretical or untrue, it will be immediately retracted. I do not presume to teach men. When my husband and elders read this blog, it is only to provide oversight and accountability.

4) I do not maintain this same standard with my Counter-Cultural School blog, where I am sharing about practical matters. Some of my real-life friends read the blog, and that is important accountability, so that I am not tempted to portray our homeschool in an untrue light. But my husband does not read any of those posts before they are published, and my pastor doesn’t read it at all.

It is the ministry blog which I believe must submit to a more rigorous standard. And even on the ministry blog, not all posts need equal attention. It is those posts which seek to teach the Scriptures which need this kind of oversight. Although my husband reads every post before I publish it, we do not worry over posts about parenting methods or encouraging anecdotes the way we do over posts that teach.

Podcasting
As a podcaster who is seeking to encourage and teach other women from the Scriptures, I have these accountability structures in place:

1) Every podcast begins with copious notes and lengthy discussions with my husband. Again, he is a vital part of the process, a behind-the-scenes counselor and adviser. Many key points come from him.

2) After I write a podcast message, my husband reads it through carefully for personal accuracy in the details, theological accuracy in the Scriptures, and for tone (challenging but encouraging, not harsh or condescending).

3) After the text meets with my husband’s approval, I send the message off to several trusted Christian friends, all of them ladies who share the same commitment to theological accuracy and to women’s ministry that I have. They, too, minister behind the scenes to ensure that everything is clear and logical, true and helpful. They suggest additional Scriptures and check my references, and they add points where needed and help me work out areas that don’t communicate well enough. These ladies have all known me for many years, and they provide another level of accountability, that I am living what I am teaching.

4) Then the text is recorded and sent to yet a different group of ladies, who listen to the message and provide feedback. If a point was still unclear, if it left them with unanswered questions, or if they have any constructive comments at all, these are taken into consideration for the final draft and the message is re-recorded if necessary.

Usually I have people who do NOT know me in real life listen to the podcasts before they are released for general consumption. These are friends I’ve gotten to know through the internet, women whom I have come to trust although we have not met. They provide a different kind of accountability, as they are able to hear the podcast in a way that my husband and IRL friends cannot do. They don’t know me well enough to overlook it if I say something that comes across the wrong way.

5) Only then is the podcast finally recorded again and released to the public.

Are you a blogger or a podcaster? Is your blog informative and practical in nature, or are you seeking to teach the Bible? If you are, I would encourage you to put some accountability structures in place.

“Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.” Romans 12:3

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