Healing Conflict in Church

In 1995, Bob wrote a book called Love in Action:  Healing Conflict in Your Church (Multnomah Publishing Company). The book encourages us to become agents of reconciliation in our churches and relationships.

One chapter was satirically named, “Ten Ways to Split Your Church.”
Step One: Focus exclusively on your own desires.

Step Two: Listen to every criticism.

Step Three: Focus on your pastor’s weaknesses, not his strengths.

Step Four: Speak the truth or practice love, but never combine the two.

Step Five: Store grievances for future use.

Step Six: Forgive only those who ask you to do so and only if they deserve it.

Step Seven:  Hide your own sin behind harsh attitudes.

Step Eight: Use prayer to unite discontented individuals
(and spread inappropriate information.)

Step Nine: Do whatever you have to in order to win.

Step Ten: Remember, you are on a mission from God.

Parents, not doing these “ten” is important to your child loving God and wanting to serve in the church someday.  Teach your children to respect their spiritual authorities by respecting your spiritual elders yourself.   Do nothing that would lead to a split in your church,. Your children are watching. And so is God.

“Warn a divisive person once, and then warn him a second time.  After that, having nothing to do with him.  You may be sure that such a man is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned.”  Titus 3:10-11

Remember, marriage is for better for worse for keeps.

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Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. I want to encourage you with a bit of history.

Valentine’s Day is not a celebration that started with a little naked boy with wings flying around with arrows shooting passion into the hearts of young people. No, the cupid you see on Valentine’s cards in stores everywhere has nothing to do with the real deal.

Although no one is absolutely certain how the celebration actually started many point to a certain priest living under the rule of Claudius in ancient Rome.
The ruler was having trouble with his army. Men were leaving their families behind to fight but would become homesick and lonely while away from their wives. In order to strengthen his armies, Claudius outlawed all engagements and marriages. This did not go over well with his people, especially the Christians who wanted to reserve their expressions of love for each other to the bonds of marriage.

St. Valentine, a priest, continued to secretly break the law and marry young couples in love. He made a stand for biblical marriage. Eventually he was caught and arrested. He was sentenced to beatings and death.

While he was in prison the jailer’s daughter befriended him. She was healed of her blindness when he prayed for her. They fell in love but knew that with the ban on marriages and Valentine’s impending death there would be no future for their relationship.

On the day of his execution, Valentine left her a note and signed it ‘From Your Valentine’.

From then until today Valentine’s Day has been a celebration of love. But it is more than that. It’s a celebration of marriage itself. St. Valentine risked his life so that men and women could be married and follow God’s prescribed plan for relationships.

Today many of us are turning our backs on marriage because it’s not making us happy, or because it’s too hard. Shame on us! When men and women have died to give us the freedom we have in our country to be married according to God’s beautiful plan, we should celebrate that in our homes. The rings we wear on our fingers are not just another piece of jewelry but a sign to the world that we are celebrating marriage.

This Valentine’s Day, plan to celebrate your marriage, not just the fleeting feeling of romance. Feelings of love and romance waver from day to day, month to month and year to year. But your commitment to marriage should be life-long. No matter what your feelings are this season, celebrate the truth in your marriage, God’s blessing of marriage as a whole and the privilege of being a part of such a magnificent institution.

God bless you as you prepare to celebrate your marriage this Valentine’s Day!

To leave a comment:

• If you are reading this post in email form, click the article headline. This will take you to the article on MMCW’s website.
• Scroll down until you see the box entitled ‘Speak Your Mind’.
• Enter your name, email (it will not be published) and your website or blogsite if you have one (you do not have to have one).
• Click on the big empty space and then begin typing your comments.
• When you are done, click ‘submit comment’.  That’s it!  We look forward to hearing from YOU!